Stupid Mario Run
by CloudySkies17695
Summary: What do you get when you take a infinite runner mobile game and try to turn it into a fanfiction, staying as true to the gameplay as possible? A complete and utter train wreck. Happy first anniversary... (Rated T for mild language and suggestive themes)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Oh, great. The Equivalent of the Toad-pocalypse Happened.**

* * *

 _Dear Mario,_

 _Why don't you join us at the castle for a party? I'll bake a cake!_

 _Your's Truly, Peach._

Our story begins with our titular hero running towards his destination, ecstasy filling his mind. Wait; did it start with this paragraph, or the letter? Anyway, Mario stopped dead in his tracks as he heard a whirring sound behind him getting closer and closer by the second. He looked behind him, dodging the flying behemoth that was charging towards him with a barrel roll. Mario looked up to get a closer look at who or what was seemingly so intent on attacking him, and big surprise, it was Bowser.

Bowser bellowed his signature evil laugh. "Heya, chump!" he roared. "I'll be taking that cake! And Peach, too!" With that, he flew up in his Clown Car. Bowser had taken it too far that time. Not only was he going to kidnap Peach again, he was also going to literally take the cake, and that's terrible!

Mario began to give chase, but soon enough crashed into something that appeared out of nowhere. Mario rubbed his throbbing nose as he stood back up, wondering what we ran into so suddenly, and to his surprise, a floating text box, well, floated before him.

"Welcome to Super Mario Run! In this game… Or story… Mario will run automatically. Now run, Fatty, run!"

All of a sudden the text box disappeared and reappeared behind Mario, now with an extended buzzsaw.

"I said run, Fatty!"

Mario, terrified of what was to happen next, began to run as fast as his stubby, little legs could take him, vaulting over every object in his path in a desperate attempt to escape the text box that was supposedly trying to murder him, or rather, give him a game over.

The text box began to float besides him. "He'll also automatically jump over small obstacles and enemies! Jump while doing so for extreme parkour action!"

Mario just gave a worried look as he pressed onward, and after much excessive filler and hand-holding, he was finally making decent distance to Peach's Castle, which was promptly getting bombed.

The text box appeared in front of the red-clad hero once again, catching him off guard.

"Here's a hint! Super Mario Run can be played with just one hand!"

Mario stared blankly at the text box for a few moments before giving a sly expression. "Would you mind explaining what you'd do with the other hand?"

"Quiet, Pasta Breath. We're trying to keep this E 10+ at the most."

"Isn't this a fanfiction, though?" Mario questioned. "At the very worst, this will probably get a T rating on someone's crappy account." Mario then proceeded to look at the reader, staring deep into their eyes, causing them to feel very uncomfortable.

Soon enough, Mario reached Peach's Castle, or at least, what was left of it. Toad ran up to him, a panicked expression on his face and tears in his eyes.

"Mario, it's terrible! Princess Peach was kidnapped by Bowser! He's also wrecked the castle and all the other Toads have fled!" Toad paused for a moment to catch his breath, exaggerated by his crying. "What can we do?"

Mario just seemingly zoned out for a moment before placing his hands on Toad's shoulders, looking at him square in the eye, and said one word: "Ok."

Toad jumped as high as he could, slapping Mario across the face with his stubby, little arms in the process. "Ok?" he exploded. "OK?! How is any of this ok?! Princess Peach is gone, the economy is in shambles, people have lost their homes, and I lost my favorite bathroom spot! Where am I supposed to go now?"

Frantically, Toad looked around before finally spotting a bush and quickly dashed there, proceeding to relieve himself because as we all know, every Mario fanfiction needs to have toilet humor, no matter how arbitrary.

Toad quickly dipped his hands in the nearby river to wash them off before running back to Mario. "Well, what are you waiting for? Toad ordered, placing his hands on his hips. "Go rescue her!" Toad then gave a bit of a coy expression as he slowly began to shake his hips from side to side.

"I mean… I can help if you want…"

Mario instantly lit up. "Sure! Any help is appreciated, Little Toadie!"

Toad was astounded by that comment. It had been, like, I don't know, FOREVER since he had been called that. He instantly began flushing a bit. "Y-Yeah," he eventually muttered before lighting up. "Well, what are we waiting for, Mario? Peach is still waiting for us, so let's go!" He began to rush off, but soon ran into that same old text box.

"Sorry. You need a My Nintendo account to play as Toad."

Toad instantly got miffed at this remark. "What? But this is a serious matter! Peach is in danger!"

"He's right," Mario added. "Also, again, isn't this a fanfiction?"

The text box simply let out a ellipsis before finally responding to their claims. "You still need an account. It's free, though."

"Ok, fine! Done!" Toad shouted, now holding a phone in his hand. "Now let us pass!"

With that, the text box shrunk back down. Toad just huffed in annoyance. "Geez, what a jerk, he pouted."

Mario put a hand on Toad's mushroom cap, giving him a smile. "Hey, at least now we can finally go rescue her."

Toad couldn't help but smile back. "Well, what are we waiting for? The Princess is waiting for us. You ready, Mario?"

Mario gave a confident nod. "You bet! Let's-a go!"

Toad felt all his anger wash away when Mario said those words, His smile grew wider as the two began to run off towards the first of Bowser's castles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Apparently, Partaking in Races Restores Your Failing Economy. I'll Have to Take Note of That.**

Before the two knew it, they had reached World 1-4, more than ready to enter. The two heroes got a few stretches in before heading in, but the text box, once again, appeared in front of them, halting their progress once more.

"World 1-4 and beyond must be purchased in order to be played. You can try World 1-4 for 20 seconds, though."

"This again?!" Toad snapped. "This is a serious matter! How are we supposed to rescue Peach when you keep restricting us?"

Mario pulled a few coins out of hammerspace, or something like that. "Will this cover the cost?"

"No. You have to pay in another way: with REAL MONEY."

Mario and Toad both gasped in horror. "THIS is how you halt our progress?" Toad exploded, clenching his fists tight. "By making us pay you? Considering you're just a rectangle full of text, you probably don't need it, you miser! I swear to God, I mean Grambi, I will punch you and your stupid quips into oblivion and kick your a-"

"Toad, let it go!" Mario shouted, now holding Toad's arms so he couldn't go through with his actions. Toad continously struggled, by eventually gave up, much to Mario's delight.

"Look, Mr. text box," Mario calmly began, "we'll try to find a way to pay you, alright?" Mario singalled Toad to give him his phone, with Toad reluctantly agreeing. "Hey, Toad, what's your password?" Mario asked.

"Ugh, just let me do it!" Toad groaned, snatching the phone back, tapping away at it. "This may take a while. Go participate in Toad Rally or something while I try to work this out. It's not like the story is going to progress without us... Not that there really is one. Thanks, Miyamoto…"

Mario cocked his head to the side. "Toad Rally?"

Toad lit up a bit. "Ah, that reminds me! I can't believe I didn't tell you about Toad Rally before! Stupid me… By participating in Toad Rally, we can bring Toads back to our kingdom!"

"That's wonderful, Toad," Mario sighed, "but that can wait for a little bit. We still need to rescue Peach."

Toad let out an offended gasp. "And have her be devastated when she sees none of her subjects around? I can't have that! I won't let that happen! Listen, Mario, I want, no, I need you to use these tickets to race and get the kingdom back into tip-top shape!" With that, Toad shoved the tickets in Mario's face and pushed him in the opposite direction. Mario gloomily sighed, heading for the Warp Pipe that would lead him to his new destination.

Mario entered the Warp Pipe, soon being taken to some kind of virtual reality, ghost versions of his friends littering the place. Mario tensely looked around, being stopped by Toadette seemingly popping out of nowhere.

"Hi, Mario!" she beamed. "Welcome to Toad Rally! In Toad Rally, you compete against the style of other players for the amusement of Toads!" She brought up a virtual list consisting of five players. "Go ahead! Pick one!"

With uncertainty, Mario slowly went over to choose one of the players, but Toadette quickly covered the list. "Actually, let me choose for you. You'll be playing against this person named… Nintendo. Sounds kinda flashy."

Mario just gave a reluctant smile as he clicked the person Toadette wanted him to, and with an exchange of one of the tickets, the scenery changed into that of a grassy plain.

Toadette gave the plumber a smile back. "Hey, good luck. Make us proud." With that she raised a flag, signalling Mario and the ghost Toad to begin competing.

Mario trudged forwards, doing his best to keep up, performing many cool tricks and jumps along the way. As he continued onwards, more and more Toads began to cheer for him. Eventually, a cobalt star (No, this didn't suddenly turn into a Partners in Time fanfiction) appeared above his head. He grabbed it, and suddenly felt a surge on energy rush through him, allowing him to speed up a bit, as well as somehow making coins pretty much pop out of nowhere. Mario got so caught up in the race, that when the whistle finally blew, he lost his balance and tripped, skidding across the terrain a bit.

Mario rubbed his now scraped nose as he looked at Toadette, now in front of him and the spectral Toad. "The results are in!" She cleared her throat as she began writing down what Mario hypothesized to be statistics. "Mario rallied up 298 Toads and Nintendo rallied up 234 Toads, so that means Mario is the winner!" Several Toads began to cheer, a handful of others running over to him to cheer for him as well, leaving Mario feeling a bit sheepish.

"So that about covers Toad Rally!" Toadette beamed. "Basically, the more stylish and cool you are, the more well-liked you are! Talk about a good moral…"

Mario just gave a worried smile as he pondered what to do next. Admittedly, he had fun partaking in the race, but he knew Peach was still in trouble.

"Mario, that reminds me!" Toadette exclaimed. "The more Toads and coins we get, the more things we can buy in Kingdom Builder! ...Or whatever it's called. So, how about it? Wanna do another round?"

Mario gave Toadette a half-smile. "Ok, ok, I'll do another, but just a couple more, ok? I still need to rescue the Princess."

Toadette gave an understanding nod as she handed Mario the list again. This went on until Mario ran out of Rally Tickets. Admittedly, Toad Rally is a bit of a time sink.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: After So Many Years, We Have a World 2 That Isn't a Desert. In Return, Though, it Feels Really Unnatural.**

Before Mario knew it, he was fresh out of tickets, but in return, a good handful of Toads had joined the kingdom, somehow making it so new items in the Kingdom Builder shop were available, whether they'd be full-grown trees, statues, and houses. Then again, when has anything in Mario ever made much sense? Can you even relocate a full-grown tree? I mean, I'm not a treeologist, so I wouldn't know. Wait, the correct term is dendrologist? Yeah, then I'm not a dendrologist, that's totally what I said. See? I'm smart!

Mario began making quick work of rebuilding the Kingdom, even putting down Yoshi's house!

"Yay! Yahoo!" Yoshi cheered (Oh, by the way. Yoshi is just going to speak in full English in this story purely for convenience. Who knows? Maybe it's just a translation of what he's saying). "Thank you for rebuilding my house! Hey, you're trying to rescue Peach, right? Let me help you out! It's the least I can do."

Mario gave Yoshi a thumbs up and a nod of approval "Sure! Help is always appreciated!" Yoshi couldn't help but smile wider as he joined his friend on their journey, making their way towards the first castle, but to their surprise, Toad had already completed the level, even defeating the False Bowser that lied at the end.

"Took you long enough," Toad huffed. "You took so long that I completed the level without you. To be fair, though, I only completed it a few minutes before you got here." Toad sighed and noticed the green dinosaur in front of him. "I see you brought Yoshi along. Is he here to help us?"

Yoshi just nodded.

Toad snapped his fingers. "Oh, I totally forgot! With Kingdom Builder, we can plant down houses so others can join our journey! Let's see… we can recruit Toadette, more Yoshis, Luigi… Wait, doesn't Luigi live with you, or something?"

Yoshi turned to Mario and gave him a confused look. "Yeah, what's with that?"

Mario gave off an unsure look. "I'm not sure. I mean, he does have that mansion, but it's somewhat far from here. Is there some new house of his I don't know about?"

Toad nonchalantly shrugged. "Eh, Nintendo probably just wants to milk your name for all it's worth. I mean, you essentially ARE Nintendo, but come on." Toad just look down until finally beaming with energy once again. "On the positive side, look what I got!" Toad reached into his vest and pulled out yet even more Rally Tickets.

Mario let out an exhausted sigh, not wanting to do anymore Toad Rallies, but he knew Toad would just rope him into it again. "Toad, please. I already did a lot of Toad Rallies today. I just want to rescue the Princess."

Toad glared at the red-clad hero, making him a bit uneasy.

"Toad, can't we just complete the next World first?" Yoshi questioned.

"Fine, I guess," Toad replied, now pouting.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Mario chimed. "World 2 is this way!"

The other two heroes quickly followed behind Mario, and the newly-formed trio made their way towards World 2.

To their surprise, World 2 didn't seem to have any traces of sand in sight, the first level being a ghost house. Of course, since they typically would be practically drowning in the abundance of sand, this was a nice change of pace.

To Yoshi's knowledge, this would be his first real time in a ghost house, leaving him curious at to what lied ahead. Toad, on the other hand, was acting unfathomably brave about the situation, bordering on a cocky degree, though this was rebutted by his obvious shaking.

"This looks too easy!" Toad jested, slapping his hand on his chest. Toad quickly ran inside, only to run back out mere seconds later, screaming and latching on to Mario's shirt as tears welled up in his eyes. All Mario could really do was give a concerned laugh as he patted the mushroom retainer on the head.

"Don't worry, guys," Mario reassuring chimed, placing Toad back down."We'll get done with this level in no time!" He signalled the other two of follow him, with them following suit.

The three went inside as the front door locked behind them, causing them all to jump a little bit. While finding the exit was the goal, with all the Boos and Stretches (And yes, that's what they're called), this wouldn't be the easiest feat.

"Geez, now I know how your brother must feel," Toad quietly grimaced, an uneasy expression on his face.

Mario happened to catch wind of this comment and turned towards Toad, giving a bit of a half smile. "Yeah, I can see what you. I'll admit, these kind of places do give me a bit of the creeps. Of course, my bro has always been kind of diffident, but he's always able to put his fears aside when it comes to saving the day. Makes me really proud of him, y'know? That's why I believe if he can put his fears aside, you can too!

"Mario…" Toad awestuckedly muttered, tears of gratitude being to well up in his eyes. He wiped his eyes with his left arm as his lips quivered into a smile. "You're right. I can do this. Thanks,

Mario." Flushing a bit again, he reached out his hand for Mario to shake, but before the overall-clad man could return the gesture, Yoshi called out of them in a panicked manner.

"Guys, I hate to interrupt, but we only have thirty seconds left!" Mario and Toad looked up, seeing a clock that indeed showed Yoshi was telling the truth. Mario and Toad both began to panic as well, but before the three could even reach the third room, time ran out and they were all kicked out, complete with Mario's nose, once again, getting scraped from the ground. Mario got up on his knees, wondering why his nose was taking so many beating that day, soon seeing a familiar "face."

"Would you like to try Easy Mode? You get unlimited time and bubbles, but with the cost of not saving your record."

"No, thanks. I think we're good," Mario nervously chortled, waving his hand from side to side.

"Ok, then. Feel free to choose Easy Mode anytime later. It'll certainly be helpful for a husky like you…"

"Hey, I'm not _that_ fat!" Mario retorted, now beginning to get annoyed with the text box's claims. He then paused for a moment, as if he was questioning himself. "...Am I?"

Soon enough, after much hassle, the three made it back inside in the ghost house, Toad and Yoshi both raring to go, and Mario… despondently poking at his belly.

"I'm not that chubby, am I?" he quietly asked out loud.

Toad and Yoshi both caught wind of this and they turned to face him, looks of encouragement and sternness on their faces.

"Hey, don't let that stupid rectangle control you," Toad reprimanded. "They're totally oblivious to how cool you are. Even if you're a bit short and stout, you sure as hell, or Underwhere, make up for it with your incredible athleticism and positivity, and don't you dare forget that, y'hear?"

"He's right!" Yoshi added. "I mean, eating is really nice, so I don't really blame you. Even I don't ever really get fat, there's moments I pretty much want to eat everything in sight. It's kinda a habit I need to break…"

Toad stared blankly at the green dinosaur before snapping at him. "Yoshi, you're not helping!"

The rest of the levels played out very similarly. The trio would have crazy antics together, exchange fluff, and have fun despite the circumstances that would normally maybe turn someone into a nihilistic, edgy shitlord. Before they knew it, they reached the first of the Airships.

Ninjis littered the place, jumping about like the cheeky bastards they were, cannons seemingly shooting out cannonballs at 100 miles per hour (or approximately 160 kilometers for you non-American viewers. ;3c).

Yoshi cracked his knuckles. "Ok, guys. We need a bit of a game plan if we're gonna get through this. An idea I have is-" Yoshi then noticed Mario and Toad ran off without him, albeit by complete accident. Yoshi stepped into high gear, chasing after them as fast as he could. "Guys, wait up!" He called out, but to no avail. Alas, the whirring sounds of the Airship were too noisy, masking out his voice.

Eventually, he finally caught up, seeing the other two enter a pipe, with Yoshi following suit. The three were taken to what was seemingly the heart of the Airship, being guarded by… Boom Boom. Wow, what a shocker.

Boom Boom took quick notice of the heroes, soon beginning to flail his arms about as a mean of offense. Mario quickly leaped up in the air, landing on Boom Boom's head. Having an idea of what to do, Toad went to land the second hit, but mainly because his jumping sucks, he got hit instead, trapping him inside a bubble.

After Yoshi landed the second hit, Toad got hit with an idea. He popped himself out, jumping off of Mario's head in the process, proceeding to jump on Yoshi's, and finally Boom Boom's , knocking him out as he seemingly fell out of the Airship (That's how it looks in the game. Don't question it). Toad cheerfully turned towards his companions, now sporting somewhat peeved expressions.

"What? It's a team effort, isn't i-" Toad then proceeded to get crushed by a treasure chest that supposedly magically appeared from above. Making haste, Mario and Yoshi help to lift the chest off of Toad who, somehow, was still alive after that.

Mario opened up the treasure chest, revealing the Rally Ticket that were inside. "Well, that's kinda anti-climatic," Mario softly huffed. Mario turned towards Toad, making quick note of the excitement on his face. "Toad, please, no."

"Geez. Way to kill the mood." Toad pouted.

"Anyway," Mario sighed, "We need to find a way to get off this place. The next World is waiting for us." Straightening his cap, he signaled the other two to follow him, they eventually got off, heading towards World 3, which, surprisingly, didn't have a single jungle or water level. Then again, water levels are terrible, so maybe this was a blessing in disguise. With that in mind, the World would be smooth sailing. Probably.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: As I Mentioned Before, the Fact That Worlds 3 and 4 Don't Have a Single Water or Jungle Level is Quite Odd.**

"Hey, guys! You complete the next World without me!"

Mario and Yoshi turned around to face Toad, stunned by his bold claim. "Why do you want us to leave you behind?" Mario questioned. "You even said in the last chapter that this is a team effort."

Toad closed his eyes, smiling, and shook his head. "No, it's not like that. It's just that the kingdom still needs to be rebuilt. I realize now though that I can't force you to join me in that endeavor." Toad cleared his throat and pointed a finger at the other two heroes. "Listen up! I'm going back for a while to rally up Toads, and don't you dare think about rescuing Peach without me!"

Mario and Yoshi just gave confused looks, their turning towards each other, and then back to Toad. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that!" Toad panicked. "I just mean, you know… Ugh, just don't defeat Bowser without me! ...Ugh, You know know I mean!" Toad thn cruised off in the opposite direction, leaving the other two heroes alone.

Yoshi despondently sighed. "Toad's kind of a jerk, don't you think?"

Mario let out a somewhat brittle laugh. "Well, he's certainly enthusiastic. I will admit, he's a bit rowdy, not to mention his temper, but I can tell he means well. If he just works on bettering himself, I'm sure he could be an amazing hero."

Yoshi's eyes sparkled a bit, amazed by how forgiving Mario truly was. Granted, Yoshi, himself, was a bit like that, but that's kinda besides the point, to be honest. He snapped back to his senses when Mario put one hand on the back of his neck, pointing in the direction of their destination with the other.

"You ready to go?" Mario asked, smiling his usual smile.

Yoshi looked down with uncertainty for a moment before turning back to face Mario, giving him a determined nod. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Mario's grin got wider as he clench both his hands into fists. "Ok, then! Let's-a go, Yosh!" With that, Mario sprinted towards the next of Bowser's castles, Yoshi following close behind.

The two soon made it to the first level, which just to happened to be a desert level. Wow, _now_ they give us the desert level. Well, I didn't choose for it to be this way, and since when did Mario games ever have a real continuity? I mean, this is a fanfiction, but you know what I mean. And people wonder they movies based off of video games usually suck, and vice versa.

Yoshi puffed his chest out in confidence and gave it a small pound with his fist. "Leave this to me, Mario! I'll help get us to the next level in no time!" Yoshi took Mario by the hand, throwing

him up whenever Spinies crossed their path, Yoshi jumping on them with no trouble. It was like Yoshi had spike-proof boots, or something, or at least, didn't have anything to fear when it came to spikes. ...Wait…

The two continued to traverse the level, doing their best to dodge the bombarde of Spinies, Lakitus throwing more down to make matters worse. Eventually, Yoshi made it to the flagpole first, Mario reaching it soon after, albeit pelted by Spiny Eggs.

Yoshi quickly ran over to his friend, shaking him a bit. "M-Mario!" he panicked. "Mario, are you ok?"

Somewhat dazed, Mario got up to his knees, pulling out a spike lodged in his nose, winching in pain a bit. "Yeah, I think so," Mario sighed. "I'm just a bit off my game, I guess." Yoshi let out a sigh of his own as he proceeded to help Mario pull out the rest of the spikes. Soon enough, the handful of spikes were removed, prompting Mario to thank Yoshi as the duo went forward to the next level.

The next level was relatively the same, just with Bullet Bills and their cousin, the Bulls-eye Bill, which for some reason, weren't homing in on Mario and Yoshi. Of course, this was a good thing, considering everything else trying to kill them. Granted, the Bulls-eye Bills were still trying to "give them a game over", but it just amounted to them moving slightly faster. Talk about a fall from grace. I actually feel a bit bad for them. Needless to say though, it was a relatively uneventful runthrough, and pretty much as quickly as they made it to the level, they had completed it, keeping pace as they headed on to the next one.

The third level was, get this, pretty underwhelming, being a grassy plain. Yoshi prepared to discuss a game plan, but Mario was already eagerly running off. All Yoshi could do was begin to catch up as he let out an ambivalent sigh. "That's Mario for you," he thought. "He's always raring to go, even if it kills him."

Soon enough, Yoshi had caught up to Mario, who was about to pass through a section full of Munchers. Speeding up, he caught up to Mario, Grabbing him by the hand to lift him up to the cliffs above, causing him to lose his balance for a moment before regaining his footing. Yoshi looked up at the small cliffs, focusing on Mario who gave him a smile. Yoshi smiled back as the two went on to complete yet another level.

Finally, the two reached the next of Bowser's castles, littered with Fire Bars. No, really, they were everywhere. You would probably think Bowser had a hard-on for them. ...I'm going to stop talking now, I'm sorry. That was really out-of-hand.

Anyways, Mario let out a joking scoff. "Wow, old Bowz really went all out when constructing the castle." Yoshi couldn't help but giggle at Mario's deadpan claim as the two prepared to get through the forretress.

Getting through the castle was a bit easier said than done. Well, at least for Yoshi. To his knowledge, he had never been in one of Bowser's castles, so this was all new to him. Well, I mean, there was Yoshi's Island, but whether or not that's the same Yoshi is up to debate, and to further confuse things, there was Yoshi's Island DS with the Star Children thing and- Wait, what do you mean we don't talk about that game? ...Why are you pointing guns at me? Ok, I'll stop! Just please don't stop me!

U-Um, where were we? Ah, yes. While Mario was able to get through the castle with relative ease, there were numerous close calls, one even resulting with a small flicker of fire got on his hat. Yoshi, on the other hand, had ended up with a couple burn marks on his sides, leaving him desperate to find some water or shade, what with Yoshis being cold-blooded and all. I mean, they are cold-blooded, right? They're like some dinosaur, dragon thing. Mario reassured Yoshi that he would help to patch Yoshi up after the battle with the False Bowser, knowing a thing or two about medidence himself. That being said, whether Mario really had a medical degree was rather questionable. Seriously, he just throws those pill into that jar so nonchalantly. Wait, is it really a jar or is it the patient? Oh Dio mio…

Soon after the battle, Mario followed up on hs offer, following all of the steps to treating a burn, finishing up by applying the bandages and gauze. "Are you sure you can still go on this adventure?" Mario asked. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I already know your answer. You're really determined to her, huh? Well, you're just like me then. Anyway, if you really want to continued onwards, I want to to be very careful. The last thing we want is for you to get a contracture."

Yoshi nodded. "Thank you, Mario. I know I'll probably worry you because of it, but I really do want to help you rescue the Princess. I'll do my best to follow your advice, though, I promise."

Mario gave a wide smile. "I understand, and thank you, Yoshi. To be honest, one of the last things I want to see is my friends getting hurt."

Yoshi couldn't help but tear up at Mario's response. Soon enough, more tears began to dribble down his face, prompting Mario to help wipe them, stroking his reptilian friend's back with his other hand. "Hey, it's ok. Don't cry."

Yoshi sniffled, doing his best to smile. "Y-Yeah. I'm sorry, Mario. I-I'm just so happy to know someone like you." Mario couldn't help but gie a half smile as he continued to console the green dinosaur. The two were so caught up in their little heartfelt moment, they also didn't hear a familiar voice call out to them. Mario perked up a bit as turned in the direction of the voice, knowing too well who it belonged to. As he suspected, there Luigi was eagerly running up on them, Toad riding on his shoulders. Mario helped Yoshi up and the two ran up to the other two.

The two brothers were soon enough in arms length of each other, proceeding to do quick high-five, followed up by a brief side hug before the two began to have a quick chat, catching up on what the other brother had missed while they were on their own.

"Mario, you won't believe it!" Toad interrupted. "I was able to do a bunch of Toad Rallies, and I was able to get Luigi to help us. Still doesn't make sense that he wasn't available to help us from the start, though. Anyway, if you have anyone you should be thanking, it should be me."

Mario and Luigi quicked turned their attention to the mushroom retainer. "Thank you," they both chimed in unison, proceeding to chat with each other again, causing Toad to facefault onto the ground. He was about to angrly tell them off, but his anger began to die down as Yoshi helped him out, allowing him to sit on his back.

Soon enough, the newly formed quartet was ready to go, and with another high-five shared between the two bros, they set off the next World, Bowser's Castle in sight beyond the horizon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: If You Think About it, the Name World Tour is Very Misleading.**

"Ah, World 4," Mario sighed. "Just as I remembered it. By that, I mean I don't remember climbing a tower filled with huge sawblades. You'd think that be one of the final levels."

The text box appeared again. "Would you like to try Easy Mode to cut clean through the level? ...Ok, that was really stupid. Who's even writing this, anyway?

"Wish I knew," Mario dryly replied, shrugging. "Anyway, I don't think we need it at the moment, but thank-"

"U-Um guys?" Luigi stammered. " This isn't really the time for this. We still have to complete the level…"

Mario gave a gentle slap to his hand. "Oh, brother! I totally forgot!" He turned back towards the text box, giving an apologetic look. "I think we'll be fine, Mr. text box, but thank you anyw-" Mario was cut off by his brother pulling him away, trying to hurry before time ran out, but of course, they couldn't make it in time, kicking all four out, prompting the text box to appear again.

"Would you like to try-"

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Toad snarled, glaring.

"Why do you keep asking us when we've already said we're ok, anyway?" Yoshi asked.

The text box let out an ellipsis again before finally responding. "There's a one-time code that gives you 30 bubbles to use at your leisure. All you need to do is jump twice, and wall jump on go backwards during the second jump. Then you go backwards from there, start running forward again, jump twice, and then stop in place."

Mario looked at the text box with a blank and annoyed look. "Ok, two things. First off, you're expecting us to run constantly, so stopping in place isn't technically impossible unless we happen to run into a wall. Second off, this is a fanfiction based off a mobile game. How do you expect us to do all this? Even if you found a way to emulate it on something, how would you even play the game? Furthermore, if what you're saying is true, then wouldn't it spread like wildfire?

The text box showed yet another ellipsis, longer than ever before, before closing for a moment before opening again. "Do you want the 30 bubbles or not, Mari-grasso?"

Mario let out an offended gasp, cheeks red with anger. Three times now in one whole day did this rectangle make fun of his weight. He was finally starting to get really annoyed with the text box, but he knew he had to keep his cool. "Would you stop calling me fat?" he snarled under his breath, forcing a smile.

"I think we're good," Luigi butted in, his face displaying tranquil fury, giving off a bit of a cold stare. With that, the text box closed and Luigi sighed in slight frustration. "Only I can joke about my bro's wight, and more importantly, no one should mess with him," he thought to himself. He soon realized though that the others were beginning to take on the castle again, so after trying to get rid off all his tension, and with a quick adjustment of his cap, he went to follow them, but not before tripping on his two feet. Poor guy.

The first level went as one would likely expect: pure chaos, character dodging buzzsaws, munching on mushrooms, and Mario's nose surprisingly not getting puntructed by the blades of said buzzsaws. Oh, and those annoying Dry Bones, too. The worst part is to get that extra coin bonus from them, you have to defeat them, but to to that, you either have to get a Star or defeat them from below, and that's fun.

The next level was, originally enough, a grassy plain, numerous Goombas charging at them, almost like something you would see in some idiot 5-year-old's Super Mario Maker level. Then again, this level had slopes, so that wouldn't be possible. Wow, what a great way to celebrate the 30th anniversary of you mascot, Nintendo.

Mario puffed out his chest a bit. "Seems easy enough," he boastly huffed before blindly running, causing him to underestimate how steep the slope really was, and began tumbling down, eventually falling down a pit, and finally, floating in a bubble, now in his small form. As he floated back to the others, his cap fall over his eyes, causing him to huff in annoyance. He popped himself out, falling on his face again, his nose getting squished in the process.

To be honest that was the "highlight" of the level. Nothing too worth mentioning really happened after that. Also, I'm just lazy and out of ideas. Isn't procrastination great, kids?

Anyways the four made to the third level, and it was just as "eventful" as the last one. Well, except for Luigi accidentally kicking a Buzzy Beetle shell at Mario's nose and feeling really bad about it even after Mario forgave him, Yoshi trying to walk on a section that contained Munchers with Toad hitting a switch before he got the chance, and… Actually, that's about it. I just described World 4-3. Can I go home now? Wait, what do you mean I'm uploading this from my house?

Bada-bing, bada-boom, they finished another level, the Airship in sight. The four hopped onto the ascending anchor that was previously keeping the ship grounded, ready ro take on whoever was on the ship aside from themselves.

Once again, Ninjis are basically everywhere, Burners littering the place as well. The four went onwards, jumping off Ninjis, collecting many coins before finally reaching the Warp Pipe, Tl;dr the level went relatively smoothly, and the quartet soon reached Boom Boom.

Boom Boom was at first shocked to see the four heroes, but anger soon overtook and began charging towards them, flailing his arms about. Mario crouched down and adjusted his cap, ready to land a hit. He leaped in the air, trying to lock aim, but missing. Looking behind him, he jumped and kicked off the wall, trying to hit Boom Boom again, but missing again. Soon enough, though, Luigi was the first one to land a hit on Boom Boom, causing him to fall to the ground, dazed for a few moments. Through all this, Mario wasn't paying too much attention to where he was going and ending up standing on a Burner, getting scorched at the last second, causing him to revert back to his small form as he desperately tried to put out a small flame on the top of his cap.

Soon enough, Boom Boom was defeated once again. The treasure chest started falling once again, and Toad, now screaming in fear, backed into a corner. Before the treasure chest fell to the ground though, it suddenly halted, quickly floated over to Toad, and squished him. Wow, even in context this still makes no goddamn sense.

As the four walked towards the next of the Worlds, Mario looked high up, the sun seemingly trying to blind him. Then again, the sun in his universe always seemed pissed off, so what am I saying? Regardless, Mario looked around, checking if there was another Airship they had to face. Without any traces, Mario brought himself back to reality, his friends cheerfully waiting for him. The red-clad hero lit up and ran towards them, more than ready to complete what was the homestretch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Holy Rings of Fire, Mario! We're Running Out of Ideas for Chapter Names!**

When we last left out heroes, they were getting ready to head onwards to World 5. Now, they are… at the Castle.

Uh, don't get me wrong! It's not like I was lazy! ...Ok, that's partially true, but not only do I not have any ideas, I don't want these chapters to drag on. I mean, did you even SEE how short Chapter 5 was? It was like Chapters 1 and 2 in length. Then again, in actuality, all of these Chapters are, like, three to four pages in length, so maybe I'm good to go. I don't know. If you really want, I can explain what happened: They completed the levels with relative ease, with the main exceptions of 5-2 having Mario's nose getting impaled by a Spiny Egg, and Luigi and Toad having a bit of trouble making through 5-3 out of fear. See? You're not missing much.

Anyway, Mario and the others arrived at the Castle, being greeted by Dry Bones and rings engulfed in fire.

"Holy rings of fire, Mario!" Toad exclaimed, flailing his arms about.

Mario glanced around for a few moments before staring back at Toad. "Roll credits?" he jested.

Toad slapped him again. "No, you idiot! What do you even mean by that! I'm just expressing my shock, and you're just here-"

Toad halted when he felt hand touch his shoulder. He turned around to be greeted by Luigi, that same look of tranquil fury on his face. "Are we going to have a problem?"

Immediately, Toad jolted back, beginning to slide backwards with his palms, not even realizing he backing up towards lava, and before anyone could warn him, he fell in, using up on of their bubbles.

"Guys, now's not the time for this," Yoshi mused. "We still have to get through the castle."

Mario nodded. "He's right. Listen, we just have to push onwards a bit more. Peach is probably very close." He turned around, signalling the others to come with him, and so they did.

The quarter began to run forwards, coming across the first of the rings of fire. Stopping on the Pause Block for a quick moment, they aimed their focus and jumped to the other side, succeeding in their attempt. Well, except for Toad, but he ended up grabbing the edge, so he technically still made it.

The heroes continued on, traversing the castle, stomping on several Dry Bones and jumping through more fire rings in the process. Eventually, they made it to the False Bowser. The False Bowser roared, charging up a fireball. The heroes prepared to fight, but to their surprise, a pink and white figure jumped above them, swinging the axe to break down the bridge. Panicking, the False Bowser tried to grab onto a ledge, but turned into a mere Buzzy Beetle shell before they could.

"Geez, talk about a pushover," the mysterious hero said, flipping their braid-like plaits.

"Toadette?" Luigi asked. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like?" Toadette responded in a deadpan tone. "I'm here to help you suckers rescue Peach."

"No, no, listen." Toad butted in. " _How_ did you get here? I don't recall the shop having the materials to build your house."

Toadette giggled. "Well you could say I'm quite… Popular among other Toads." Toad gagged a bit, while the others just stared at Toadette in slight confusion.

Toadette huffed. "Well, do you want my help or not?"

Mario nodded happily, much to Toadette's consent. "Good! Looks like I'm helping you from now on!"

Yoshi just let out an almost silent sigh, already knowing what kind of hell it would bring, and the newly formed quintet began to set off… That is, if the bridge wasn't destroyed. Thanks, Toadette.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Wow, We Went From Funny and Stupid to Homehittingly Depressing Within a Matter of One Chapter.

The five heroes made quick work of the sixth, and surprisingly final, World, now heading to Bowser's Castle. By now, the sun was beginning to set, giving off a radiant, orange glow. If one stared at it for too long, not only would they probably go blind, but they'd lose track of any form of time.

Small gusts of wind blew as the quintet stared at the large castle looming over them. Toad had someone convinced the others to get a small stretch break in before rescuing to Princess, much to everyone's surprise. Not only was he pretty much saying to hold off on recusing Peach, but this also seemed very out of character for him, considering that's really the only reason he went on the journey anyway. Even if he didn't, he would just waste all his time on Toad Rallies, and if he really could, bet on Toad Rallies, only to lose all his money, not be able to pay debt, and fall into a deep depression. Wait, I'm sorry. Did this get too real? I'll stop now.

As Mario was stretching his arms from side to side, Toad tugged gently at his overalls, trying to get his attention. Mario turned towards Toad, perplexity on his face.

Toad heaved a heavy sigh. "Mario, we need to talk. Alone."

Mario cocked his head to the side. "Hm? Is something wrong?"

Toad sighed again and took Mario's hand, taking him to a nearby hillside. He sat down, patting a spot to his left, with Mario soon taking up the offer.

"The sunset sure is beautiful, huh?" Mario chimed.

"Yeah, it sure is," Toad ruefully replied before averting his eyes to the right.

Mario's face quickly turned to that of concern. "So, was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Toad froze for a moment before trying to let go of his tension. He muttered something under his breath, prompting Mario to ask him to speak up. "I'm sorry," he finally muttered.

Mario was floored at Toad's reponse. "Sorry? For what?"

"I'm sorry for being such an ass all the time!" Toad shouted before metaphorically shooting himself in the foot. "Ugh, there I go again, shouting at people. How am supposed to rescue Peach when I'm always yelling and screaming at people to do so?"

Mario gave Toad a reassuring smile. "Hey, it's ok. You just need to work on your temper a bit. I'll admit, I'm a little bit hot-headed myself."

Toad pouted. "Well at least you can control yourself! Not to mention your unfathomably brave and kind, almost to a lethally stupid degree! I just didn't want to end up like other Toads, just blissfully living their lives, amounting to nothing! I want to help Peach, as well as you guys, in any way I can, even if it kills me, but how am I supposed to do that when I'm practically forcing people to do half the work for me?"

Mario paused for a few seconds before coming up with a response. "Toad, it's more than ok to ask for help. Sometimes, there are times when you simply can't do things alone, and you know what? That's ok. You're just putting stress upon yourself if you think you can handle everything by yourself."

Toad just sighed again, beginning to sniffle a bit. "I know that, but then why is it so hard? Even when I do ask for help, I just seem to drive people away. I wouldn't be surprised if the others already hate me. I mean, Yoshi already seems wary of me…"

Mario placed a hand on Toad's mushroom cap, giving him another reassuring smile. "Hey, you have your whole life to prove yourself. Just because you're a bit abrasive now doesn't mean you'll be like that your whole life. If I were to make a suggestion, it would be opening up to people more. You don't have to keep your anger in all the time. It's not healthy. If you do that, it'll eventually just all spill out."

Mario's smile shrank a bit as he turned his gaze to the sunset. "We're kind of like the weather. Some days, we feel bright and cheery, and other days, we feel sad. However, like every day that passes, that just means a new us is about to unfold. Just as the weather can't always be the way we want, we can't always be perfect, no matter how hard we try. That doesn't mean all hope is lost, though, as new new day brings a new us. I know you may feel sad now, but that doesn't mean you'll be that way forever."

Toad's lips quivered, continuing to change from a smile to a frown. "Yeah… I guess I just really wanted to be the one to save Peach…"

Mario smiled again. "I understand what you mean, but if we all work together, that means we're all rescuing her. At the end of the day, as long as she's safe, that's all that really matters, right?"

Toad sniffled again, beginning to twiddle his fingers. "I guess you're right," he murmured Well, what I mean is… You know… Getting a kiss from her…"

Mario gave a somewhat nervous laugh, blushing slightly. "I see what you mean," he jested. "Who could resist getting a kiss from someone as lovely as the Princess? I can't really blame you."

Toad slowly began to smile a bit. "Heh. It's nice to see we can finally see eye to eye. It doesn't really matter _who_ saves Princess Peach, but rather who does, if that makes any sense. Even a pudgy man like you or a tempermental citizen like me can do it, and as long as she's safe, that's all that really matters, huh?

Mario couldn't help but smile too. "You're right. Now you're getting it. Toad, I know it may not seem like it to you, but within you, I see the makings of a true hero. Of course, whether or not you want to go down that path is entirely up to you, but I hope you at least take it into consideration."

Toad gave Mario a playful bop to the nose. "Of course I will, you big dummy."

Mario couldn't help but chuckle at Toad's response. After a little bit, he stood up, dusting himself off a bit. "Well, Toad. Everyone is probably waiting for us. Ready to go rescue her together?"

Toad smiled, unmoving. "Yeah, I am."

Mario was about to talk off, expecting Toad to follow, but Toad suddenly spoke up again, now flushing a bit again. "Um, Mario?"

Mario turned back around. "Hm? Is something wrong?"

Toad paused for a moment before shaking his head. "Nevermind."

Mario just gave a concerned smile as he went to take Toad's hand, and the two began to walk back to their friends, ready for the final step in their journey.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Excited Anime Title! The Homestretch to Save Princess Peach!**

The quintet stared at the final of Bowser's castles, more than ready to go in. They gave each a determined nod as the went inside, the doors closing behind them.

To their surprise, the interior was rather minimalistic, just pretty much being a seemingly endless hallway. They knew they had to press onwards, though, and so they kept pace.

Soon enough, they reached Bowser, who, surprisingly, wasn't just on some bridge that could easily be broken. Instead, he was in the same flying behetom from before: his Koopa Clown Car.

"So, you brought more of your friends to try and stop me?" Bowser roared. "Not that it matters, since you AREN'T GOING TO GET PEACH BACK! The only way you could is by throwing my attacks back at me, but you'd have to be stupider than you already are to do that!"

The five heroes just stared blankly at Bowser, regaining their focus when they caught wind of him shooting a spike ball at them. Now fully attentive, they began to charge towards Bowser, fully intent on defeating him.

Bowser threw a Bob-omb at them, only to have to get prompty thrown back at him by Mario, causing Bowser to spin out for a few moments. Growling, he charged up a few fireballs, spitting in out in not-so-rapid fire, with the five heroes dodging them with relatively ease, though a stray flame did end up landing on the tip of Mario's nose. Growing angrier, Bowser threw another Bob-omb, intent to keeping Peach captive for as long as he could.

Yoshi tried to speedy up to throw back the Bob-omb, but ended up getting hit instead, prompting Bowser to laugh the the green dinosaur's attempts. "How pathetic," he bellowed. "You have to try way harder than that if you want to defeat someone like me!" With that, the mouth on his Clown Car opened, shooting out more spike balls.

Mario and Luigi, knowing these kind of tactics too well, jumped over them with little to no trouble at all, the other three struggling a bit, Yoshi the least out of them because, you know, "he's got no fear of spikes."

Soon enough, Bowser threw out another Bob-omb, and Luigi threw to back at the Koopa King, causing his ship to let out smoke. Bowser huffed. "Don't you think this is over yet!" He proceeded to let loose even more fireballs, following up by throwing out more spike balls. But soon enough, he threw out one more Bob-omb. Toad looked at Mario, who gave him a determined nod, and the two kicked it back at Bowser, defeating him once again, him and his Clown Car both falling downwards.

Mario wiped his forehead. "Well we finally did it, everyone!" he cheered. "All that's left is finding the Princess!" The other four cheered as well as they went forwards to find where Peach was contained.

They soon reached the room knew Peach was being held captive, and see immediately lit up when she saw her saviors. "Oh, thank you!" she chimed.

Mario bowed, signalling the others to do the same, while Toadette just curtseyed. Peach giggled, proceeding to kiss the cheek of all the heroes out of gratitude. She then let out a sigh. "Let's go home now, should we?" The five heroes nodded, and they went onwards back to Peach's Castle.

Peached sighed again. "So, I presume you have quite the story to tell me, huh?" Mario nodded, proceeding to tell her about the adventure they had.

With that, another adventure had come to an end, and with that, this story. ...Just kidding, there's still like, 20 chapters of this story left. Ok, just kidding. Again. 20 isn't an accurate number. Honestly, I'll probably just make more chapters as more stuff gets added. Regardless, we still have a lot more shit to cover. With that, thank you for reading this far, and I hope you enjoyed the main arc of Stupid Mario Run, and to all a merry Christmas, a happy holidays, and a happy new year.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Despite What the Name Suggests, the Great Coin-llectathon Was Actually a Terrible Point in History**

 _Dear Mario,_

 _Why not join at the castle for a party for real this time? I'll bake a cake for us all!_

 _Yours truly, Peach._

Mario ran towards the castle, ecstasy filling his mind at the thought of Peach baking a cake for him and all his friends in honor of her rescue, and with no sign of Bowser, it seemed that he could finally eat cake in peace. In his joy, he vaulted over all the various enemies and ledges, too excited for what was to come.

Soon enough, he arrived at Peach's Castle, Toad being the first one to greet him. "Mario, welcome!" he exclaimed. "What are you waiting for? Peach is waiting for us! Don't worry about the others, though. They're still coming."

Mario gave another smile at the mushroom retainer as he went inside the now smaller castle, it's now small stature caused by Bowser's bombing that happened yesterday. How it went from a tiny tent to a castle again is beyond me but again, Mario logic doesn't make much sense.

After greeting the Princess, they all went inside the dining room, expectantly waiting the heroes to arrive, and sure enough, they did. Once they all sat down and gotten themselves a slice of cake, Peach cleared her throat, readying to speak.

"Everyone, I have a few announcements to make," she began. "Firstly, I would like to thank you all for another swift rescue. Of course, the kingdom is a bit damaged, but that can be fixed with time. Secondly, since there seems to be no signs of Bowser planning another attack, I would like to ask if you would allow me to help you on your future endeavors."

Mario instantly lit up at this request, but he didn't want to let all his excitement spill out, lest he embarrass himself a bit. He took a deep breath and with a big smile, he said one word: "Ok."

"Sure, Princess!" Luigi concurred. "It would be nice to finally have another adventure with you with no real danger of Bowser."

Yoshi simply nodded and Toadette gave a thumbs-up, too focused on eating their cake. "Well, it seems the votes are in," Toad jested. "Princess, it would be an honor to venture with you."

Peach couldn't help but smile. "Well, I guess that settles it, then. I will do my best to help you all in any way I can. Anyway, that is all for announcements for now." With that, everyone continued to eat the delicious cake until it was all gone, and once everything was cleaned up, the sextet walked outside to get a fresh smell of nature, and I know sextet looks weird, but that's the actual term. Look it up. Hell, if you really think about it, it's one letter off from… You know what? I'm just going to stop talking now. I'll just leave it at that.

Mario and the other five reached a lovely flower patch, laying down besides it, relieved they finally got a chance to relax. Mario was about to drift off until Toad spoke up. "That reminds me, guys. Have you guys noticed those weirdly colored coins in the various Worlds?"

Mario lifted himself up, supporting himself with his hands. "Huh, it never really occurred to me. Why?"

Toad huffed an annoyed sigh. "I just have a feeling they're supposed to be used for something. I don't know why. I just do. Listen, we should go back and find them."

Mario continued to give a confused stare before giving a half-smile. "Well, alright, then. We're not in any real rush anyway."

"There's also an event going on at Toad Rally, too!" Toadette butted in. "We're giving out extra coins to the winners! It'll be perfect for making this place amazing again! What do you chumps say? Wanna do some Toad Rallies?" Toad instantly took up the offer and rushed beside Toadette.

"Well, then, I guess we should split up," Mario suggested. "Toad and Toadette seem perfectly content with doing Toad Rallies, after all. Does anyone else want to join them?"

The others looked silently at each other before Peach finally spoke up. "I don't see why not. I've heard good things about them and they seem kinda fun."

Mario nooded. "Ok, then. Anyone else?" He paused for a few moments, waiting to see if anyone else took up the offer, but to no avail. "Well, I guess that settles it. This actually turned out pretty well, considering there's three in each group."

Toadette put a finger on her chin and nodded. "Indeed. Well, I guess we gotta go now, you see you later, Mario!" With that see giddily ran off like an anime schoolgirl, the others soon following her, albeit normally.

Mario gave a concerned chuckle before turning with Yoshi and Luigi. "Well, you guys ready?" he asked, with the other two responding with a determined nod. Alright then! Let's-a go, guys!" With the, the three began they journey to find as many off the differently-colored coins as they could.

On their adventures back, the three decided to split up, each taking two of the six Worlds, Mario searching though Worlds 1 and 2, Luigi travesering Worlds 3 and 4, and Yoshi venturing into Worlds 5 and 6.

Mario soon enough reached the first World, taking in the sights. He was so tempted to take in the sights as he traversed the level, but he knew he had a time limit, for some reason. Besides, the text box was probably going to try and persuade him into trying Easy Mode, but he recalled hearing that using Easy Mode wouldn't save records, whatever that meant, so he assumed it wouldn't count for the total Coin count.

Adjusting his cap, he began dashing off, keeping a keen eye in case he saw something, and soon enough, he saw a Coin shining a vivid pink. Jumping up high, he grabbed it, making sure to keep note of what it looked like in case he came across something similar. "This must be one of those weirdly colored Coins Toad was talking about," Mario thought.

Before he even knew it, he had found all of the Pink Coins that he could find in the first World, and he found the vast majority of them in the second one, so he decided to do a bit of backtracking. He went back towards 2-1, ready to find the last of the Pink Coins. Soon enough, he got it, but to his surprise, when he went to count the Pink Coins he had found, he could've sworn four were missing.

"What the?" he asked out loud. "I could've sworn I- Wait… Do I have to get them all in one go?"

The text box appeared once again. "That is correct. This way though, you get extra coins."

Mario turned to face the text box. "Oh, hello, Mr. text box. It's been a while. Guess the author doesn't know what to do with you anymore, huh? Anyway, do I really have basically have one shot to get them all? Isn't that sort of backwards? I mean, in a lot of my adventures, whenever I find a collectable, whenever I find it and get it, that's it. After that, it does come back, but transparent."

"That's just the way it works now, Cicciobomba-rio."

Mario sighed, doing his best to ignore the new insult the text box threw at him. "I guess, but wouldn't that be frustrating?" He continued to wait for the text box to respond, but when he looked back up, it was gone. He continued to search for about a minute before giving up. "I guess they went off to try and help someone else," he quietly mused before heading off again, not paying full attention and walking into a pole, his nose getting most of the hurt. Geez, why do all of these chapters have some sort of nose torture porn?

Time seemed to go from going really slowly, almost to a crawl, to insanely fast, but eventually, it was sundown, and the three heroes were running off to meet with each other again.

"I think I found all of the Pink Coins in Worlds 1 and 2," Mario huffed, trying to catch his breath from running so much. "What about you guys? Have any luck?"

Yoshi showed the Coins he had collected, a couple of them giving off a brilliant, purple sheen. "Well I did find these Purple Coins when I went back to a couple levels because I felt like I forgot something. Here's the weird thing, though. When I went backwards, it felt like there was this heavy force pushing me back. It was really scary, to be honest."

Mario stepped back a bit. "Wait, there are Purple Coins, too?"

"I found a couple Black ones, too," Luigi interjected, showing off five Coins that sparkled amazing black color.

Mario paused for a moment. "So, wait. There's not only Pink Coins, but Purple and Black ones, as well?" He heaved a heavy sigh, not wanting to go back though all the levels again just to try and find a few differently colored Coins. To him, he wasn't even sure what their purpose was besides looking really pretty. "Well, I think we made great work today. How able we call it a night and put it off until tomorrow? Maybe Toad and the others could help us, too." Luigi and Yoshi looked at each other from a moment before fully agreeing with the red-clad hero, and the three set off the meet with the other three.

As the walked back to Peach's Castle, they took in all the sights, realizing that during their adventure, they barely had time to do so. Even if everything around them was the same, it all felt so new. Perhaps it was just the lighting from the sunset but for some reason, the nature was more beautiful than ever. They even got so mesmerized, they almost lost their way, Yoshi helping to get to two brothers to pay more attention. Soon enough though, they made it back, the others already waiting for them.

"Well, we got some Coins," Toad wheezed, clearly having barely enough breath to talk. "We… We also rallied up a good number of Toads."

"We sure did!" Toadette beamed, still brimming with energy. "I even got to partake in a few races. It's no surprise Toads would want to cheer for me, after all."

Peach gave a worried giggle. "I will admit, I did have a good time. I wouldn't mind doing it again." All of a sudden, she pounded her fist into her open hand. "Oh, that reminds me! Did you have luck finding those coins?"

"Well, we had moderate luck, I suppose." Mario sighed, handing out all the Pink Coins he had found, making Toad's mouth drop.

"Whoa! That's a lot of Coins, Mario!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling radiantly in awe. "I knew I could count on you guys!"

Mario just give a sheepish grin as he put his hand behind his head, Luigi and Yoshi soon handing over the Coins they found too, explaining that there appeared to be more than just the Pink Coins they had to collect.

"Goodness," Peach calmly exclaimed, "it seems you three have been working very hard. You all seem so exhausted. How about we stop for today and pick up where we left tomorrow. We could even help you collect the rest of the Coins if you so desire."

Mario happily nodded before letting out a loud yawn. "Heh heh, guess I'm more tired than I thought," he embarrassingly joked. "Well, I guess I'm going to go back home, now. See you tomorrow." With that, he set back off, giving his friends a friendly wave, before facing back to the direction of his house.

Toad wanted to run up to him, but was was already so far off than even with his impressive speed, he probably wouldn't be able to catch up. "Dammit, I should've asked him to stay with me," he quietly pouted. "I would've allowed him to sleep in my bed."

Luigi couldn't help but yawn as well. "It's getting kind of late. Maybe we should head back, too?" The other four gave a weary nod and they went off their separate ways, ready to have good night's sleep before finding the rest of the coins.

Since this chapter was so long, how about we end it with a moral, or maybe even a lesson? Let's see… Oh, I got one! _**Collectathons SUCK.**_ Ok, lesson over. See you guys later.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10: Oh, Man, the Shippers Aren't Going to Be Happy With This One. I'm Kinda Sad About it, Even.**_

Ever since Peach had been rescued, life in the Mushroom Kingdom was going pretty peacefully. Aside for the occasional kidnapping, everything went back to the way it used to be. With all the time on everyone's hands, there was plenty of time to rebuild the kingdom, and in no time, it was back into an even better shape than before. However, this peace wouldn't last. ...Kinda.

It was a relatively calm autumn day when it occurred. Luigi sat in his house drinking a cup of hot cocoa he had prepared, watching the leaves outside fall. He took another sip, warmth filling him. That's when Mario burst in, slamming the door open, yelling at the top of his lungs.

"LUIGI! LUIGI! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"

Luigi quickly jolted back to face his brother, a mix of fear and anger on the younger brother's face. "Mario, you don't have to shout at me! Just tell me what's wrong!"

"T-The Princess…" Mario panted. "Princess…. S-She's-"

"Princess Peach has been captured again?" Luigi questioned, interrupting Mario's train of thought. "Well, then, let's go rescue her, huh?"

Mario shook his head. "N-No. It's Princess Daisy. She apparently got lost in some place called Remix 10 and-" That's went Mario noticed Luigi had seemingly disappeared in some kind of poof. Mario tuned his head left and right to get an idea of where his brother went. "Luigi? Luigi, where'd you go?"

That's when the bedroom door opened, revealing Luigi, now wearing army clothes and sunglasses, cocking an MP5 even though that's technically impossible, all while "I Am… All of Me" from Shadow the Hedgehog played in the background.

Mario stared at Luigi in confusion in shock. "Um, Luigi? I-I don't think that's all really necessary. I presume it's just a rescue mission."

"Then let's go rescue her!" Luigi shouted, ripping off the army outfit, revealing his iconic clothes underneath. With that he rushed out the door, with Mario following, however, the door slammed on him, crushing his nose.

Mario soon enough got up and went outside too, closing the door behind him. He looked around for Luigi, but to no avail, not being able to pick up on his presence, because, you know, they're twins, or some shit like that. Mario just sighed. "Luigi, please don't be too far off," he thought to himself, not having a single idea where Remix 10 was located.

During Mario's search, he came across Yoshi, as well as his friends. Oh, yeah. I never really mentioned the other Yoshis, did I? Honestly, it would be really confusing to have them in, what with their names being Yoshi and all. So, when they do appear, they'll just be called Red, Blue, Yellow, Purple, and the Yoshi that's been following Mario and the others… is still going to be called Yoshi.

"Hey there, Mario!" Yellow beamed. "You seem to be in quite a hurry. Is something wrong?"

Mario nodded. "Yes, there is. You see, Luigi went off to this place called Remix 10 in order to find whenever Princess Daisy went. However, I have no idea where Remix 10 is. Do you have any ideas where to find it."

Blue solemnly shook his head, Red doing the same, but with more sass. That's when Purple stood up, dusting himself off. "I know a way," he finally announced in a calm tone. He took Mario's hand, pointing in the direction of where to go. "Follow me."

Mario gave a somewhat tense nod and followed Purple, the other Yoshis following behind them. Soon enough, they reached a yellow Warp Pipe that gave off a faint multi-colored gleam if one was to view it in the right direction.

"This is the place," Purple stated, still having that monotone voice. "If you're going to find Princess Daisy, though, wouldn't you need help?"

Mario gave Purple a smile. "I would like that very much," he chimed. "Thank you, Yoshi."

Purple couldn't help but give a smile as well, which was a slight surprise to the other Yoshis beside him. Before they could go in, Peach, Toad, and Toadette all ran to them.

"We came here as fast as we could when we heard Daisy went missing," Peach panted.

"Honestly, just going missing doesn't seem like a good enough excuse," Toad huffed. "If anything, she probably got kidnapped by Bowser, or maybe some alien, or something."

Toadette put her hands on her hips and leaned forwards. "Anyway, we're coming with you guys. No is not an answer."

Mario nodded before placing a fist on his open hand. "Ah, I totally forgot! Have you guys seen Luigi? As soon as he heard of the situation, he ran off."

Peach put a finger on her chin. "Come to think of it, I did see him dashing off earlier. Perhaps he knew the way here?"

"Anyway," Toad butted in, "we still have to find Princess Daisy! She's probably waiting for us!" With that, Toad ran towards and lunged at the Pipe, slamming his head into the rim before getting up and hopping in.

Peach gave a worried glance and she hopped in after him, the Yoshis soon following her, with Toadette going in after them. Mario went up to get in the Pipe, but gave one last glance to make sure whether or not Luigi was nearby. With no luck, he heaved a sigh and went in the Pipe.

Little did they know though is that status quo would once again be the deciding factor in everything. By that, only Mario would be the true savior of Daisy. If you seriously thought that fact was the only reason of the title of the chapter, then… you're kind of wrong. Originally, the text box was going to taunt Luigi about how Mario was the only one that was able to rescue Daisy. Eventually, Mario would get so pissed that he would punch the text box with that firebrand technique of his, particles of glass lodging into his fist, as well as his nose, with Peach proceeding to walk him to the castle to patch him up. So, whether or not the story we got is better is entirely up to you, but I think we can agree on one thing: the text box is a dick and needs to die.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Stupid Mario Run: The Not-so-Great Mission to Find Princess Daisy!**

Mario popped out of the Warp Pipe, having a slight struggle to get out of it due to his plump shape. He soon enough pulled himself out, causing him to stumble on the ground, his hat blinding his vision when he stopped tumbling. He lifted his hat up and was greeted by quite the stunning, yet minimalistic sights before him. It almost looked like some sort of place he would see in one of his dreams.

Toad suddenly popped up besides him. "Hey, Mario! Glad you could finally join us!" He tapped on his phone for a few moments before speaking again. "Apparently, this is Remix 10. In this mode, it's seems we'll have to go through 10 very short, consecutive courses. As we play through the courses, we'll get closer to finding Princess Daisy! Now, hurry! She's waiting for us!" With that, Toad ran off, faster than Mario could even keep up to him.

Mario gave a worried chuckle. "That Toad… Always ready to go, no matter the situation…" He knew he couldn't just sit down and lollygag, though, so after getting up and giving a quick adjustment to his cap, he went off to start this… not-so-great mission to find Princess Daisy…

Before he could even make it to the first level, the text box popped up in front of his, causing to Mario to bang his nose on it again.

"You need Rally Tickets to play Remix 10. However, this is your first time, so you can go ahead and start without using one."

Mario gave a slightly annoyed, yet sincere grin. "Thank you, Mr. text box," he sighed, still rubbing his nose. The text box closed once more, leaving Mario alone again. He heaved another sigh. "Well, just standing here isn't going to help anything," he thought to himself before readying himself again. After a brief stretch, he went off, ready to tackle whatever Remix 10 was ready to throw at him.

He entered the first course, finding himself back in World 1-1, albeit much shorter in length, though that's not always a bad thing ( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ). He began to run forward, taking notice of three medals brilliantly shining pretty much every color in the rainbow. Trying to make haste, he grabbed all three of them, preparing to go into the Warp Pipe, presumably leading to the next course.

Soon enough, he got to the fifth course, meeting up with Yellow. He gave Mario a friendly greeting before realizing there wasn't really time to chat, so the two went forward, Mario going slightly faster than the yellow dinosaur.

Eventually, after much trial, but not much error, Mario was able to catch up to Toad. After completing the set of 10 courses. Toad went up to him.

"You caught up to me!" Toad cheered before giving a sly smile. "Took you long enough."

Mario couldn't help but give a nervous laugh, not noticing the tet box looming over him until the last second. He quickly turned around, slightly tense.

"You can earn bonus medals if you catch up to friends in Remix 10."

Toad perked up a bit. "Free medals just for catching up to people? That sounds nice."

"There's a catch. You have to use FRIEND CODES."

Mario and Toad gasped in horror. "Are you serious?!" Toad exploded. "Friend codes are STILL being used? Do you even realize how contrived they are? We probably can't even add friends in here, can we? We probably have to go back to the kingdom to do so, huh? I knew I should've destroyed you when I had the chan-"

"Toad, it's not worth it!" Mario called out, placing a hand on Toad's shoulder. Toad turned towards Mario, the latter sporting a calm expression. "I know it seems kind of tacked on, but it's what we have, and we can take what we get, alright?"

Toad angrily looked at Mario before calming down a bit. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he reluctantly huffed, much to Mario's delight. With that, the text box closed again, leaving the two heroes alone.

Mario couldn't help but sigh. "That text box is really persistent, huh?" He then stood back up and adjusted his familiar cap once more. "Well, we can't let this minor setback get to us. Daisy is still in trouble. Let's-a go, Toad!"

Toad looked at Mario, smiling a bit. He couldn't really describe it. Something about Mario was so infectious to him. Maybe it was his seemingly everlasting smile and optimistic personality. Perhaps it was that well-groomed mustache. Whatever it was, Toad always found himself drawn to the plumber. Make that of what you will.

Before they could run off again, Toadette went up to them, practically huffing her lungs out, but not really, because that would be gross. She would also be dead, or something.

"I finally… caught up to you guys," she panted.

"Oh, hey, Toadette," Mario chimed. "What's up?"

Toadette panted for a few more moments before standing up straight, pointing at the other two heroes. "You haven't rescued Princess Daisy yet, have you?"

Mario shook his head. "No. I feel we still have a long way to go. We're only at Area… Uh… Toad, what Area are we at?"

Toad pulled up his phone again. "Area 5, I think…"

Mario turned back to face Toadette. "Yeah, Area 5. Again, I do foresee this taking a while more, so we probably won't reach her for a while."

Toad gave a quick nod before pointing at them again. "That's good, because I'm going to be the one to rescue Princess Daisy, and just you try and stop me!" With that, Toadette ran off at blinding speed, clearly determined to save the princess of Sarasaland by herself.

Mario gave another worried laugh. "Well, she's certainly enthusiastic,' he jested. "She's kind of like you, actually. You both are willing to do anything to save those you care for. That's a great quality to have, y'know."

Toad couldn't help but smile again. "You do have a point, Mario. But you know what? As long as even one of us saves her, that's all that really matters. That's what you said, right?"

Mario paused for a moment before shooting a smile at Toad. "Right. So, you ready to go on?"

Toad gave a confident nod. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go."

The two proceed to do a small handshake and give each other a determined nod, and with that, they were off again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Don't You Dare Tell Me Remix 10 Isn't a Rhythm Heaven Reference. Then Again, That May Just Be My Stupid 2015 Self Talking.**

Mario had made his way though Remix 10 with relative ease. However, he didn't even know what Area he was even at anymore. Honestly, all the Areas in Remix 10 just seemed to blend together in a neverending hell. Regardless, Mario felt as if Princess Daisy was fairly close by.

Of course, there were a couple pitfalls, and not just the ones Mario occasionally fell into because of a mistimed jump or bullshit enemy placement, only to somehow magically be teleported to the next course. Let's rewind time a little bit for a moment.

Mario had reached one of Bowser's castles, or something. Preparing himself, Mario, who was in his small form at the time, got ready the swing the axe on the other side. However, because of another mistimed jump, he got thrown out, his nose hitting the ground first. Bowser then appeared in front of him, performing his signature laugh. "You have to do better than that to defeat me, weakling! I'll be taking those Bonus Medals while I'm at it!"

With that, the Bonus Medals he collected during the other nine courses disappeared in a puff of smoke. After that, Bowser disappeared in a puff of smoke as well, then Mario was magically teleported back to the first course leading to the castle.

Ok, flashback over. Let's move on. Man, why does it feel like each chapter is going lower and lower in quality, jumping the shark more each time?

Anyway, Mario wasn't really sure what Area he was in anymore. At least Area 26 or 27. Regardless, he still felt his adventure would soon come to an end. Soon enough, he felt a familiar presence, perking up a little bit when he felt it. "Luigi must be closeby," he thought to himself before heading off again.

Mario continued on until he came into a forest of sorts. Weird since there isn't any forest levels in Remix 10, but just roll with it. Anyway, Mario did his best to make it through the trees, trying to find the next course. Eventually, he came across a bit of a clearing, as well as someone laying on the ground, seemingly not breathing. Mario squinted his eyes to see who it was, soon enough figuring out it was someone he knew way too well.

He very briefly recoiled back in horror before running up to them, shaking them rather rapidly. "Luigi! Luigi, speak to me! Are you alright?" He kept on calling out to his brother before feeling his side expand a bit before shrinking again. Mario turned him over, realizing he was passed out, likely to overexertion.

Mario couldn't help but heave a heavy sigh of relief. "He's just asleep. Thank goodness," he thought to himself before taking a closer look at his brother's face, seeing the clear fatigue on it. "Yeesh, Bro. You look terrible," he quietly muttered out loud. He looked around for a moment. While it was true Princess Daisy was still missing, he didn't want to leave his brother alone in the state that he was in. Sighing again, the older of the two decided to set up camp.

Soon enough, the others caught up to Mario, and after explaining the situation, the others decided to pack it in for the night, too. Peach and Toadette help to prepare food (don't think too deeply on that), the Yoshis and Toad set up small tents, and Mario refused to leave his brother's side, lest something happen the second he turned his back. With everyone else nearby, there wasn't too much worry about danger, but it was likely Mario couldn't shake off the feeling.

A couple hours had passed and mostly everyone had fallen asleep. The only ones awake were Toad and Toadette. Maybe it had to do with metabolism, or something. I don't really know. Regardless, the two went off to a large stump nearby, the starry night sky right above them.

"Sure is nice out," Toad simply stated, putting his hand behind his head (yeah, apparently the mushroom caps are their heads. I still don't know how to feel about that).

"Yeah, it sure is," Toadette replied, doing the same action as the mushroom retainer besides her.

Toad turned towards her, placing his hands on the stump. "So, do you have something you want to talk about?"

Toadette cocked her head to the side, setting her hands down as well. "Like, what?"

Toad huffed a bit. "I don't know. Anything, really." He huffed again for a moment, trying to decide a topic. Suddenly, he lit up and turned back towards Toadette. "Oh, that reminds me! You've been really overzealous ever since hearing about Princess Daisy getting lost. What's that about?"

Toadette let out a huff of her own. "What's it to ya'? I just want to be the one to find her, that's all.

Toad couldn't help but let out a sigh. "You know we're all trying to find her, right? All that really matters is that we find her safe and sound."

Toadette began to pout. "You're missing the point. I want to be the one to find her! _I_ want to be the one who she thanks for the troubles! _I_ … I want to be the one who… who she-"

Toad stopped her there. "You're not listening to me are you?" he asked her, trying his best not to raise his voice. "At the end of the day, as long as we all work together, we're all saving her from potential doom." He sighed again, laying down on the stump. "Think about us like the stars. We're all shining bright, and stuff, y'know? Even if we shoot for the moon, we will land upon those weird balls of plasma, or whatever. It's kind of what Mario told me."

Toadette looked at him, a small hint of understanding beginning to form on her face. "I mean, I guess. But what exactly does this have to do with finding Daisy?"

Toad was about to raise his voice, but stopped himself, simply sighing again. "Look, what I'm saying is that like the stars, even if we don't shine as bright as others, it doesn't instantly mean we're incapable of showing our worth. For all we know, the ones that aren't as bright may one day end up shining the brightest. That makes sense, right?"

Toadette slowly began to grow a smile on her face. "I guess you're right. I will admit, wanting to save Daisy myself is kind of a selfish thought. I guess I'll try and see things your way, even if it doesn't exactly agree with my ideal at first."

Toad couldn't help but give a concerned laugh as he gave Toadette a single handshake. "Well, it's getting late. How's about going back and getting some rest?"

Toadette simply nodded. "Yeah, let's do that."

With that, the two mushroom retainers went off, readying to finally get some sleep. Though they couldn't help but feel some things weren't perfectly resolved, they were still satisfied with their conversation. When they got back, they set out two mats close to one another, ready for a good night's sleep. As they rested, they made sure to stay under the stars.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Chapter 13: I Guess You Could Say the Dev Team is… Pushing up Luaisies! ...I'm Sorry. That Joke Was Really Distasteful._**

Since we last left off, morning had already come. Through the seemingly endless amount of trees, the sun shone through, the light conveniently beaming on the campsite. Luigi was the first one to wake up that day, which was somewhat understandable, albeit with a headache, finding himself in a blue tent.

"Ugh… My head," he groaned, holding a hand to his hand. "What happened last night?"

Instinctevely, Mario woke up as well, though still quite groggy. He looked toward his brother, fatigue and relief in his eyes. "Oh, Luigi. You're awake. Thank goodness. You really gave me quite a scare last night."

Luigi looked at his brother in confusion. "Bro, what are you talking about?"

Mario rubbed his left eye and briefly yawned. "I found you passed out last night. You likely overexerted yourself. Even with a rescue mission like this, it's important not to push yourself."

Luigi instantly shot up to his feet. "Oh, crap! You're right! We still have to find Princess Daisy!"

He got ready to run off again, but Mario quickly pulled him back by the back of his overalls. Luigi turned back towards his brother, a mix of worry and sternness on his face.

"Weegee, we have to wait for the others," Mario simply stated.

"What? But this is a serious matter!" Luigi exclaimed, exasperation in his tone.

Mario shook his head. "Weegee, I'm not risking you passing out again. I know this means a lot to you, but I really don't want you to overwork yourself."

Luigi just stared at his brother for a good ten or so seconds before finally giving in. "Alright, fine," he pouted, averting his eyes.

The two went out, discovering that almost everyone else had already awaken. "You woke us up," Toad grouchily remarked, sleep in his eyes. "Also, why is Luigi so… antsy?" he asked, taking note of Luigi frantically jogging in place, signs on dread and hastiness plastered all over.

Mario place his hands on Toad's shoulders. "Listen we don't really have time to talk. We need to find Princess Daisy."

Toad nodded and yawned. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's go." Toad tried to take a step, tripping on his own two feet in the process, falling on the ground, causing him to fully wake up. He got up to his knees, frantically looking from side to side before getting ready to run off, Mario stopping him.

Soon enough, the others were ready, too. As they walked out of the forest, Toadette tugged at Mario's overalls. "Hey, Mario," she whispered, "why is Luigi so ready to get this over with?"

"Well, this means a lot to him," the plumber simply replied, shrugging a bit.

Toadette shook her head and pouted. "No, I mean, but _why_? Why is he so keen on finding her?"

Mario jumped up slightly before giving Toadette a cat smile. "Oh, I think I have an idea. It's an idea I've kind of known for a while now. We're brothers, after all, so we kind of know all this stuff."

Toadette recoiled a bit. "Y-you don't mean…" Toad stopped herself before gritting her teeth. "Even if this is a team effort, he still shouldn't keep her to himself!" she exclaimed, now beginning to border on shouting.

The others turned around to face them. "Huh? Is something wrong?" Luigi asked.

"We were talking about-" Toadette began to blurt out before Mario stopped her, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Oh, it's nothing, really. We were talking about some soap opera she's watching. Isn't that right Toadette?"

Toadette turned to face Mario, pouting again. "But, Mario-"

Mario's face turned to that of tranquil fury. " _Isn't that right, Toadette?_ "

Toadette felt herself shiver. "Uh, R-right! That's right! We were talking about a soap opera. Definitely not about Princess Daisy! No, sir! No way, no how! Hahahahaha!"

The other eight just looked at each other. It was clear Mario and Toadette were lying, but they just decided to roll with it, leaving them to wonder what exactly they were talking about that had to relate to the princess of Sarasaland.

The dectet continued on, soon enough reaching Area 30, Bowser's castle in sight. They gave each other a nod in understanding and went on forward. All of them had a feeling Daisy was there. I mean, how far did she have to be, right? There wasn't really highlights, needless to say. Well, aside from Mario inexplicably hurting his nose again and struggling to try to get out of another Warp Pipe due his plump shape. Hey, got to get those running gags in there somewhere, no matter how forced and arbitrary. Regardless, they had finally arrived at the final Course, Mario in the lead.

Mario stared at the castle, a looming feeling over him. For some reason, the castle seem so intimidating to him. Letting down a gulp, he went on forward.

Soon enough, he entered the castle, Bowser just up ahead. He took quick note of Mario and let out a roar. "So, you've finally come, plumber boy," he bellowed. "Don't you dare think I'm going to left you win this battle so easily. In fact, I'll make sure you'll never win! I'll beat you down so many times you'll have no option but to give up! In fact, I'm going to make sure to give you a game over right here and now! And then, I will-"

"Alright, already!" Mario loudly interrupted, getting annoyed by Bowser's long speech. He caught his cool for a moment before dusting his hands off and cracking his knuckles. "Look, Bowser. I'm just here for a good, clean fight so I can rescue Daisy. You don't have anything to do with this, do you?"

The Koopa King just shot Mario a glare.

Mario couldn't help but smirk a bit, beginning to put on a battle stance. "So, you did, huh? It's kind of a surprise, really. It's not like her to get kidnapped. No matter, though. I'll just have to defeat you once again!

He jumped up, readying a kick. As he descended, Bowser blocked the attack with a mighty punch, pushing Mario back, dust forming as his shoes on the ground. Mario shot a glare of his own as he lunged towards Bowser, activating his firebrand technique. Bowser blocked again with another punch. No matter how many punches Mario threw at him, Bowser would always block them. For a long while (well, maybe only 10 seconds. I don't really know), the two exchanged a flurry of punches _Fist of the North Star_ style.

Finally, Bowser got caught off guard for a moment, allowing Mario to strike, causing Bowser to fall to the ground. Mario then sprang up and swung the axe, and before Bowser could really even react, he fell into the molten lava.

Mario dusted off his hands again, nonchalantness on his face. "Well, that was anticlimactic," he simply stated, that same nonchalantness in his tone. Then, he walked into the room where Daisy was supposedly held captive.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking. You're thinking "OMG CLOUDY, U SAID U WANTED TOO BE ASS AKURITE TO THE GAME AS POSSIBLE YOU STUPID LIAR! YOU TURNED IT INTO SUM ANIME! KILL YOURSELF, YOU FILTHY WEEABOO!" aren't you? Ok, well, three things. One, rude. Two, check your grammar. Three, it's my story and I can write it however I want to. I even wrote in a forest in Remix 10. Piss off.

Mario continued to trudge on forward, searching high and low for Princess Daisy. Soon enough, he found her, eager as ever.

"Mario!" she beamed. "Thank you for coming! I knew you arrive!"

The two shared a quick bow before Mario took a hold of her hand, ready to escort her out of the castle. As they walked, a familiar question popped into Mario's mind.

"So, what happened for you to get here?" He jokingly questioned. "It's not like you to get kidnapped."

"It's none of your business," Daisy jested, giving a gentle flick to his nose. She paused for a moment before sighing. "Well, if I must be honest, my sense of direction is a bit screwy. I only planned to stay here in Remix 10 for a little while, but before I knew it, I couldn't find my way back." She sighed again as she turned to face Mario, smiling. "So, thank you, Mario. Who knows how long I would've been here if you hadn't come again."

Mario couldn't help but give a slightly sheepish smile as he continued to escort her out.

So, that's it, I guess. Sorry it took, like, a billion years to come out. I promise I still have ideas for this story.

...So, uh, fun fact! Well, more like a history lesson, but you know what I mean. So, uh, first off, the Remix 10 update is actually what inspired _Stupid Mario Run_! Anyways, the ending to this was actually going to be much different. Instead of Mario, it was going to be Luigi who would be the one to rescue Daisy, but as soon as I found out that you could technically only really play as Mario… Well, that idea kind of died. I've even held off on rescuing Daisy to see if an update changes that, as sad as that sounds. ...Don't think too hard on that, please.

Oddly enough, the chapter would still be called "Pushing up Luaisies". Hell, I wanted every chapter to have a pun it its name, but that proved to be too strenuous. So that's why every chapter begins with some deadpan quote. If you really think about it though, the chapter name is much more fitting now…

Pffft… HAHAHAHAHAHA, GET IT? BECAUSE "PUSHING UP DAISIES" REFERS TO SOMEONE WHO IS DEAD! SO BASICALLY I'M SAYING THE DEV TEAM JUST CRUSHED EVERYONE'S LUAISY DREAMS! HAHAHAHA! Hahaha… ha… Ok, I'm sorry, I just find that rather hilarious for some reason. Now if you excuse me, there's a knock on my door.

Oh, it's the Rabid Luaisy Shippers! Hello! How are you today? …Um, why did you look the door? What are you doing with that rope? Who's writing the narration of this story?!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Like the Great Coin-lecctathon, the Great Gold Goomba Migration was also a Horrible Part of History.**

 **Ever since the rescue of Princess Daisy, life had relatively gone back to normal in the Mushroom Kingdom. Of course, there were more occasional kidnappings of Princess Peach, but sometimes it was Toad that was the captive. Wait, is it the Toad that's been following Mario throughout the whole story, or was it a different one? All Toads look the same, to be honest. ...Why does that sound racist when I say it out loud?**

Anyways, life had been going relatively smoothly, everyone being able to finally get a chance to relax. Toads played outside, admiring at the pretty scenery added via Kingdom Builder, Bowser's baddies not even in sight. Not to mention there was a lovely breeze outside, making it perfect weather for a picnic or flying a kite. Though, if one was to have a picnic, the wind might've blown the blanket away, but that was besides the point. All that mattered was that it was a nice day out.

Of course, some preferred to stay inside. Luigi, for example. While he did plan on going on a bit later, he just wanted to watch from afar at that moment. Since it was a bit of a lazy day, he could finally enjoy a nice cup of hot cocoa without interruptions. As he sat down in his chair, he let out a content sigh, admiring the leaves occasionally falling from the trees, pushing back the red and white scarf around his neck.

He then stared into his green mug, reflecting on the adventure that he had with Mario and the others a while back. While he was still kind of bummed out that he himself wasn't the one to rescue Princess Daisy, he was relieved to know that she was safe, so that's all that really mattered to him. She also decided to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom for a little while, wanting to join him and the others on their escapades. Everyone in Sarasaland knew of this fact, so it was okay.

Luigi let out another sigh, the steam from his hot cocoa blowing away because of it. He blew on the hot beverage, ready to have another sip, but before he could, Toadette slammed the door open, causing him to spill some on his overalls in shock, doing his best not to scream in agony.

"Luigi, get your fat ass out here! It's an emergency!" With that, Toadette left as soon as she came, leaving Luigi to continue wincing in pain.

Soon enough, the undectet met up, all in a circle. Purple was the first to break the silence. "So, why did you call us here?" he asked, blandness in his tone.

Toadette lit up. "Well, I'm glad you asked! You see, there's apparently a rare species of Goomba patrolling around. We call this the Great Gold Goomba Migration! Apparently, if we defeat enough of them, we'll get cool items to decorate the kingdom! ...Hey, I don't make the rules."

Mario perked up a bit as well. "A Gold Goomba Migration? That sounds interesting."

Toadette lit up even more. "See? Now you're getting it! That settles it, then! Until the migration is over, we will defeat the Goomba scum and show that we're the superior race!"

Mario, flabbergasted, raised his hands upwards a bit, his palms facing Toadette "Hey, wait a second! Where did that come from?"

Toadette scoffed a bit. "You haven't forgot, have you? The Goombas betrayed us. You could find that in pretty much any recent history book."

Mario shook his head. "No, I know that Goombas once coincided with us. It's just that, you know, doesn't that thing you said about 'superior races' seem kind of… dodgy?"

Toadette tilted her head to the side. "I don't get what you're talking about. Anyway, are you going to join me on my escapade or not?"

Mario gave a slight shrug. "I wasn't really planning on doing anything today, so I guess I'll help out."

Eventually the others agreed to join them as well, much to the female Toad's delight. Wait… So, do Toads have genders, or do they just take on certain characteristics? I mean, they were originally designed with no real gender in mind, so it's hard to say. There's been female Toads in the RPGs, but how canon are those? And if Toads are genderless, then how do they… You know what? That's enough Toad biology for one day. No more learning about the bup. Go do that in your own time.

The heroes set off, ready to find the Gold Goombas, splitting up to look in different parts of the Worlds. Since Super Mario Run wasn't that big of the game, everyone had about two levels to explore. Mario was put in charge of patrolling 1-1 and 1-2. He went over there as soon as he could, proceeding to admire and take in the surroundings. It wasn't often he could do such a thing, what with Peach getting kidnapped a lot and all.

He knew he couldn't stay in his own world, though, so with a quick adjustment of his cap, he set off, only to trip on his own feet, careening onto the ground. Hey, take a quick guess what mostly got hurt. If you said his nose, then, wow you're absolutely right. It's almost as if it's a forced running gag, each time it occurs becoming more and more half-assed, unfunny, and lazy. Wait a second…

Mario got up to his knees, looking at his nose somewhat despondently. He was used to this now, though. Shaking himself out of his slight stupor, he set off for real this time, ready to search for the apparently elusive Golden Goombas.

As Mario proceeded to walk downwards, he noticed a faint glimmer from afar. Having an idea for what it was, we went onwards, soon seeing two Golden Goombas walking along. "This must be the Golden Goombas Toadette was talking about," he thought to himself, soon proceeding to stomp on both of them. Letting out a sigh, he ran off again, ready to find more of the seemingly elusive sub-species of sorts. I mean, I think. I don't really remember anything about biology. Except for maybe dominant and recessive genes. Hey. Hey, guys. Dominant. ...I'll stop now; sorry.

Mario went onwards, searching high and low, but in the end, he only stomped a metaphorical handful. At the very least, the stamp card he had on him magically had stamps marked on it now, so it seemed he was making some process. To this surprise though, there was more stamps than Goombas he stomped. He stared at the stamp card with uncertainty and faint paranoia, unsure how something like that would happen. In the end, he just assumed it was a sign that the others were making good progress. I mean, hey. Mario logic is kinda wack.

Soon enough, the sun was beginning to fall, and everyone was meeting back up to see how they did. They showed each other their stamp cards, all talking about there was explicitly similar events to the one Mario had experienced. All together, they had certainly stomped more than 30 Goombas, netting them a Big Gold Goomba Statue, and yes, that is what it's called. At least last time I checked.

So, what did we learn today? Well, if you work hard, you will be benefited in the end. Hmm… that seems too cliche… What's a better moral? I wonder… Oh; I got one! Violence is always the answer! Actually, no it isn't. Please don't take advice from me.

Also, sorry it's been like three months. Actually, no. It's been, like, five. Oh, wait. It's been six. Shit, sorry. I also apologize if the ending seemed kind of rushed. I promise I still want to work on this series. Creativity has just run low. Get it? RUN?! Hahaha! Ahem. Wait. Why am I giving you status updates in the end of the chapter? Sigh. Just enjoy the rest of the series, whenever it comes out. Love you. ;p


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Similarly to World Tour, World Star is a Let Down. I've Come to Expect That in Life, Though, so Whatever.**

Mario strolled along, whistling a little tune, just enjoying life. Days in the Mushroom Kingdom had been going relatively slow recently, what with Peach not getting kidnapped, and all. So, for him to finally have more time to relax was rather rewarding to him, but also a bit surreal. Regardless, he wanted to enjoy every moment at his own pace.

That's when Toad latched onto his face like a hungry parasite. "Mario! Big news!" he excitedly boomed, letting himself down. "There's rumors of a secret World somewhere around these parts! It's called World Star! I don't know what it is, but it sounds so cool and you have to come! It'll be right down you alley anyway, right! C'mon, Mario! It's an offer you can't refu-"

"Wait, Toad. Slow down," Mario gently interrupted, signalling Toad to lower his voice. He crouched down a bit to match Toad's height a bit more and smiled. "So, what is it that you have to tell me?"

Toad's eyes sparkled for a moment before he took a deep breath. "WE'RE GOING TO WORLD STAR!" he shouted, still very ecstatic.

Mario covered his ears, shooting Toad a stern gaze. "Toad, you don't have to shout at me! I know you're excited, but can't you tone it down a bit?"

Toad stared at Mario for a moment before averting his eyes and sighing, kicking the ground, flipping a small pebble over. "I know," he pouted. "I'm just really anxious to explore it, I guess."

Mario's smile came back. "I understand that you want to explore every bit of it. I'm kind of like that myself. I'd be more and happy to come along. It'd probably add some excitement to my day, after all. Today has been going pretty slow."

Toad's eyes began to light up again as he glomped the plumber's leg. "Oh, thank you, Mario! I'll go get the others right now!" With that, he began to dash off, only to crash into something, causing him to fall on his back. He got to his knees, already growling. "Hey, what's the big id-"

That's when he noticed a familiar hellspa-, uh, I mean presence. Yeah, sure. Let's go with that.

"There are certain requirements you must meet before entering World Star."

Toad's eye twitched. "Are… are you serious? We… We have to fulfill certain requirements? ...WHAT THE F-"

"Oh, hello, Mr. Text Box!" Mario chimed, interrupting Toad's foreseeable tangent. "It's been a while, huh? So, we need to do something before we enter World Star, huh? What's required to grant us access?

"There are nine levels in total in World Star, each requiring you to do something different. In World 4-2, you have to make it through the level without defeating a single Goomba. And in 6-4, Princess Peach has to be the one to defeat Bowser. However, it seems that objective has already been cleared, so access to that section of World Star has been granted.

Toad looked down and gritted his teeth (Toads… _do_ have teeth, right), muttering something under his breath, his hands locked into fists. He looked back up crossly. "Alright, then. We'll fulfill your tasks. Now tell us. What are they?"

After getting the OK, the text box listed off the objectives, Toad writing down each one of them to ensure they wouldn't be forgotten. Soon enough, the text box left as soon as it came, leaving the two heroes alone again.

Toad looked down at his list and sighed. "Well, that's a drag. It's definitely not going to be easy, but think about the reward! C'mon, Mario! Let's go!" As he said his last to sentences, in lifted in arms up in zest, causing the notebook and pencil he was holding to fly into the air, the notebook landing on Mario's hat, the pencil bouncing off his nose. He just let out a sigh.

Now, we aren't really going to talk about the trial to reach World Star, because it's kind of a bitch to unlock all the levels. Let's just say it took a while to unlock anything. Regardless, the two soon enough got access to all of World Star, Daisy deciding to join them along the way. Hey, got to write her in someone. Nintendo's clearly not gonna do it.

The trio soon found themselves in the first section of World Star, Scuttlebug and Goombrats littering the place. Daisy did a small fist-pump. "Alright! Let's do this!" she exclaimed, that familiar zeal in her tone.

Also, before we go any further, can we please talk about how ugly Goombrats are? Just look at them! Like, UGH! Eck, get it away! Even if Goombas are traitors, they're still good boys. Or... girls...things. Honestly, in this day and age, it's impossible to tell what people are, these days. But these things… Please… put it back. Put it away from where which it came.

Um… Where was I going with this. Oh, yeah. I'm a bratty child. No, that's not it… Hmmmm…

Anyway, the heroes trudged forward into the first of the levels, taking in the sights of the jungle ahead of them, defeating Goombrats and Scuttlebugs along the way. Oh, hey. That reminds me. Back when _Stupid Mario Run_ was in its rough draft phase, there was going to be a part in chapter two where Toad mentions the weird ghost versions of his friends being from "parallel universes". What does this even have to do with the story? Nothing, really, aside from the fact where I'm not sure if I should regret writing that out or not.

Soon enough, the level was completed as soon as it was started and the trio went of to… an airship. Well, not the most interesting site, especially since it's named World STAR, but, hey. Stars and airships are both in the air. Stars are also made of plasma, so maybe it's some really contrived Pokemon reference. I'm probably looking way to deep into this.

The rest of World Star… didn't fare much better. All there really was were a ghost house, a desert, another jungle, a ghost house, a level with a ton of slopes, another airship... You know what? For such an exotic title, World Star is pretty boring, isn't it? Also, fun fact. I once read somewhere that Nintendo uses the word "new" a lot because apparently in Japan, it sounds "exotic", or some shit like that. Still sounds kinda stupid…

If I must be honest, _Stupid Mario Run_ has about the same amount of love, care, and time put into it as the game it was based off it, which is to say barely any.

Nighttime soon fell, and the sun began to set rapidly, so the three set off back. Toad huffed. "Man, talk about a total letdown," he complained.

Mario just smiled as he put his arms behind his head. "I'll be honest. Upon hearing the name World Star, I did expect more. Despite that, I still had fun though, and that's all that really matters to me, and it makes me happy you two tagged along."

Toad smiled, too. "I guess you're right. I don't really get the fuss about it. If I knew what was there, I wouldn't have forced you two to come. I'm sorry."

Mario halted and looked at Toad, his smiling fading. "Toad, you never forced us to come. We both agreed to come on our own merit, and it's not your fault for not knowing what was in World Star. None of us did. Now, I want you to stop this negative talk about yourself and instead to think about the fun adventure we had today, alright?"

Toad's eyes began to fill up with tears as he dropped to his knees, covering his eyes, sobbing quietly. Mario got down to one knee and patted the mushroom retainer on the back. "Toad, don't cry. It's okay. What's wrong?"

Toad sniffed and turned his head to the side. "I-I'm not crying," he muttered before sighing and facing the plumber. "I just don't get you. W-Why are you always so nice to me? I know I have been far from the best person, so why? Even after that long talk we had together, I feel like I've barely even changed… Why can't you just see I'm not worth hanging out with?"

Mario gave Toad a stern, yet concerned look. "Toad, I can't afford to hate anyone; not even baddies like Bowser. Even if I did, I wouldn't have time to. I know you're impulsive and have a short temper, but I can tell you're working on it. You just need to try harder. I believe in you!"

Toad's eyes began to sparkle before he put his head down again. His lips quivered as he shook his head a couple times, tearing flying from them before he lifted his head up, a shaky smile now on his face. "Th-Thank you, Mario…"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: I Still Can't Tell if the fact that Luigi and Daisy Have the Most Broken Jumps in the Game is Just a Coincidence, or It's Nintendo Trying to Tell Us Something.**

Toad woke up early that morning. By early, I mean the sky was still that pinkish, orangish, blue color. He opened up the windows, scaring off a few birds, and took a deep breath. All the while, "Peer Gynt - Morning Mood" played in the background. Getting the off chance to see the sun rise was truly breathtaking and stunning. Once again, he was at a loss for words. Usually, it was Mario's doing, but here, he found something equally as amazing and beautiful.

As he continued to stare, he didn't even notice the drowsiness overtake him, and eventually, he fell back asleep, his arms cushioning his head as he drooled peacefully. He continued to doze off until someone slammed open the door.

"TOAD! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"

Toad immediately turned to face whoever shouted at him, soon finding out it was Toadette. "WHAT THE F-"

"NO TIME FOR TALKING!" Toadette interrupted. "THERE'S AN EVENT GOING ON AT TOAD RALLY AND I WANT YOU TO JOIN ME!"

Toad just glared at her before turning his head away from her and made a pshaw hand motion (I don't know. What DO you call it? Give me a break). "Not my business," he simply huffed.

Toadette gasped. "No? What do you mean NO? Who else am I supposed to ask? You're the only person around here I really know! You're lucky I didn't confuse you for any of the other identical citizens! That's a real, honor, you know that?"

As Toad continued to grumble as he slammed the windows closed, not even noticing Mario, who was inexplicably there, smashing his nose in the process, causing him to slide down onto the ground. "If you want help, go ask Luigi, or something. I don't know. Just leave me out of this. You ruined my beauty sleep! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?!"

Toadette huffed. "Geez, fine. You don't have to shout at me." With that and a flick of her nose(?) she walked out, slamming the door behind her.

Toad simply let out an angry sigh. "Great, now I'm WIDE AWAKE! Why can't I enjoy a peaceful day for ONCE IN MY LIFE?" He sighed again, shuffling to his kitchen. "I guess I'll just make myself a coffee."

Meanwhile, Toadette was already trooping up to Luigi's house. Toadette peeked inside, finding out that he, too, was sleeping. Toadette put her hand to her chin. "Hmm, how will I get his attention? Wait, I know! I'll do what I always do!"

Toadette proceeded to kick the door open, guns blazing, slamming it to the ground. "LUIGI, WAKE UP!"

However, there was no screaming, no sound of anyone falling out of bed. Nothing.

Toadette pouted and puffed out her cheeks in anger. She went over to the door leading to the plumber's room, slamming it open, as well, only to find him still sleeping soundly.

Toadette gave a slight huff. "Geez, Luigi sure is a heavy sleeper," she muttered out loud, getting a megaphone ready.

Suddenly, Luigi rose up a bit, holding himself up with his hands. He rubbed one of his eyes a bit. "What the- huh? Toadette? How'd you get in here?"

Toadette shook her head rapidly. "There is no time! You have to come to Toad Rally with me!"

Luigi titled his head to side. "I mean, I guess. Why, though?"

Toadette stamped her foot down. "There isn't any time to talk! You need to come with me right now!"

Luigi shot Toadette an annoyed look. "Can't I have a few minutes to get ready? I just woke up."

Toadette pouted again before turning away, crossing her arms. "Fine," she huffed, beginning to flush a bit, "but make it quick, okay?"

Luigi simply sighed as he got out of bed, ready to get dressed, but not before noticing an interesting sight. "Uh, Toadette?" He asked. "Why is my front door on the ground?"

Toadette pouted once more before slamming his clothes and hat into his hands. "Didn't I say there wasn't much time? I'll explain later! Probably. Maybe. Possibly not. ...Just get dressed, okay?"

Luigi simply left out an annoyed sigh as he walked to the bathroom, wondering why Toadette was so grumpy, though considering the usual treatment he got from the Toads, this was basically nothing. Letting out a despondent sigh, he closed the door to the bathroom, ready to get dressed.

A few minutes later, he excited, seeing Toadette as if she was expecting something. She gave a snide grin. "Took you long enough." A genuine smile then formed on her face as she took Luigi by the hand. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!

Soon enough, the two entered the seemingly virtual reality where Toad Rally took place. Luigi looked around in uncertainty, ghostlike version of his friends all over the place. He leaned over a bit to whisper to Toadette. "Um, Toadette?" he quietly asked. "Why are there two Marios? And two of everyone?"

Toadette turned around and gave Luigi a confused look. "What are you talking about? This is normal. Anyway, I want you to pick one of these five people to race. Feel free to choose anyone you want."

With uncertainty, Luigi slowly chose the first option. "I guess I'll go against Gunpei," he muttered. "Sounds kinda nostalgic, for some reason."

Then, the two were transported to what seemed to be a haunted house. Already, Luigi was at a bit of a disadvantage, but he knew he had to press on anyway. He looked to his left to see who he was facing, only to see a ghostly version of Princess Daisy.

This seemingly unreal version of Princess Daisy just stared off into face, her expression unchanging. "Um, hello?" Luigi asked. "Princess?" There was no answer. A bit unnerved, Luigi waved his hand in front of her, but didn't get a single reaction.

Toadette just placed a hand to her head and sighed. "It's a ghost version of her. Did you expect her to react?"

Luigi just stared at Toadette in a baffled manner. Looked from side to side for a moment before fixing his gaze on Toadette again. "Sort of?"

Toadette sighed again and placed her hands behind her back, beginning to pace around a bit. "Okay, so let's just say you're doing a bit of kart racing, and you're racing one of those ghosts. You know how they don't really interact with you, and you can't interact with them? Yeah, it's kinda like that."

Luigi looked around for a second before facing Toadette again. "...I guess? Isn't this a fanfiction, though?"

Toadette looked at Luigi unamused and huffed. "Now, don't get distracted just because a ghost version of _her_ is here!"

Luigi tilted his head to the side, absolutely confused. "Um, okay?"

"And you better not freak out just because there are ghosts here too, you got that?" Toadette added.

"Okay, okay!" Luigi interjected, worry beginning to form in his tone. "I get it. Don't lose focus. I've got that."

Toadette gave a slight nod. "Okay, then." Toadette then gave Luigi another snide grin and she placed her hands on her hips. "Hey, don't trip, chocolate chip."

Luigi gave her a snide grin back as he made an OK hand sign. "Okie-dokie, lil' artichokie smokie! I'll be a-okay, creme brulee!"

Toadette gave a somewhat annoyed sigh as she prepared to raise the flag that would signify the race had started. "Ready? Go, go, GO!"

The two were then off, both at a relatively equal pace. Eventually, though, the ghostly Daisy took the lead, performing all sorts of tricks, eventually going through a door, disappearing out of sights.

"Wow, how does she perform that well?" Luigi thought to himself before giving a slight shrug. "Well, that's Daisy for you." Knowing he couldn't get lost in his thoughts at that moment, however, he shook himself out of it, continuing onward.

Soon enough, Toadette blew the whistle to signify the race was over. She cleared her throat, ready to read the results. "Alright, everyone! The results are in! Let's see here… Luigi rallied… Oh, jeez…"

Luigi gulped, already prepared for the worst.

Toadette cleared her throat again. "Luigi rallied up 421 Toads and Gunpei rallied up 928 Toads, so that means Gunpei is the winner!"

With that, the Toads began to cheer, several trampling Luigi to join the winner's side. Luigi just looked up despondently. "Did… Did they decide to join them instead?" He thought to himself. "I-Is this my fault?" Sighing, he got up and dusted himself off, not wanting to get down on himself, as per usual.

Toadette then gave him a slight tug on the leg and let out a slight huff. She shook her head. "It can't be helped. Sometimes in Toad Rally, you end up racing someone who's much better than you. You can never really tell just by looking at them. Kind of stupid, I know. You're always able to forfeit if you know you can't win, though. Some Toads will still leave our kingdom, but you'll get your ticket back. It's good to know when to cut your losses."

Luigi looked down at the ground for a short moment before staring at Toadette. "I guess you're right. Thanks, Toadette."

Toadette smiled and gave a single nod. "That's the spirit!"

Luigi shot up slightly. "Oh! That reminds me! Why did you want me to do a Toad Rally anyway?"

Toadette gave a slight smirk. "Isn't it obvious? We get more Coins that usual! Wait! I have an idea! Maybe I could do a few Toad Rallies. I am quite popular with Toads, you know." She proceeded to give Luigi a wink, who was completely lost.

Luigi let out a small sigh as he put his hand behind his head. "So, uh, I guess that means you want to do another one with me, huh?

Toadette smiled again. "I couldn't be happier."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: I Feel That Once You Start Writing Chapters About Exterior Design, You Know You're Really Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel. Aside From Making Dick Jokes, Of Course.**

Yoshi woke up that day with a smile on his face. He sat up and proceeded to get a good stretch in. It was nice and warm that day, making it the perfect day to just bask in the sun and do nothing. If he stayed in the spot in he was in, he would've done so without even realizing it, but he pushed onwards and got up, stretching a bit more.

He went over to the houses of the other Yoshis, ready to play with them. Too his surprise, only Yellow was awake, which, honestly, was not too surprising.

"Hiya, Yosh!" Yellow beamed. "Ready to have some fun today?"

Yoshi nodded. "Hey, there. Do you know if anyone else is awake?"

Yellow shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I guess we're the only ones awake."

Yoshi put his hand in his chin. "Hmm… What are we supposed to do while they're asleep? I don't want to wake them up, but it's gonna be lonely without them…"

Yellow's smile began to fade a bit. "Aww, cheer up. I'm sure the two of us can find something to do!"

Yoshi tilted his head to the side. "Like what?"

Yellow looked from side to side (despite the fact his eyes always appeared closed). "Uhhh, like giving a Toad a piggyback ride! Ooh! Or we could play Cops and Robbers! I could do some really bad like committing tax fraud and then you have to come arrest me!"

Yoshi looked at him, confused. "Huh?"

Yellow rested his chin on his fingers. "No good, huh? I guess having our little circle being down to two is a bit lonely. We can still do something fun, though! Like, uh, planting flowers! We can make the kingdom beautiful!"

Suddenly, Toadette popped out of nowhere. "Did someone say something about renovating the kingdom?"

Shocked, Yoshi leaped into Yellow's arms, letting out a small yelp.

Toadette huffed. "You don't have to be afraid of me. To be fair, I guess my introduction was a bit abrupt. Anyway, I can help you when it comes to renovating the kingdom!"

The two Yoshis lit up. "You can?" Yoshi excitedly asked, hopping out of Yellow's arms.

Toadette nodded. "Yep! All you need is coins, and a creative mindset, so who's with me?"

The three began to cheer, only for Red to wake up, clearly not happy about the situation.

"Could be be any more loud?" he exploded. "Some of us are trying to SLEEP!"

Yoshi timidly bowed. "Oh! I'm so sorry! We're just discussing about renovating the kingdom. Y-you can help us if you want."

Red's eyelids narrowed before averting his eyes to the side. "I suppose so," he huffed.

Blue woke up as well and let out a yawn. "What's going on?" he muttered. "I just want to sleep…"

Red turned towards him. "Apparently, they're going on about how they're gonna make the kingdom all pretty and dainty, or something."

Blue sighed. "Oh. I see." He yawned again before curling up and trying to doze off.

Red huffed as he knocked on the shell of Purple's house. "Yo, Vio. Wake up." There was no response. Red pouted as he knocked harder. "Um, hello? Earth to Vio?" There was still no response.

"M-maybe he's still asleep?" Yoshi quietly asked aloud.

Red already felt a fuse begin to light. "Alright, that's it!" He proceeded kick down Purple's small den, only to find out he was lazily watching some sort of show about kaiju or something on his TV. Red was just left baffled.

Purple turned his attention towards Red, unamused. "Oh, hey." he simply stated, continuing to stare at Red. "Can you fix my house, now?"

"Hey, wait a second, please!" Yoshi blurted. Red and Purple stared at him, leaving him to feel vulnerable. "U-um, Purple? We're thinking about decorating the kingdom a little bit, a-and if you wouldn't mind, we'd like you to come along, too."

Purple stared at Yoshi in a point-blank manner before shrugging. "Sure. I've got nothing better to do."

Yoshi lit up. "You will? That's great! Let's go, everyone! It's time to make this place amazing!" With a hop, skip, Flutter Jump, and a small wag of his tail, he was already off, along with Yellow, Toadette following close behind.

Red huffed, placing his hands on his hips, proceeding to shake his head. "They're always so full of energy. How do they do that?" Doing his best to dissipate any leftover anger, he turned towards the others and let out a smile. "Well, what are you waiting for? They're waiting for us. Let's go."

The other two were surprised by Red's sudden change of personality, but they didn't left that get to them as they went off to find the others.

When they finally arrived, they were greeted by Toad and Toadette playing what seemed to be some type of poker.

Toad looked up slyly. "So…have any threes?"

The Yoshis just watched, bewildered. "That isn't how you play poker," they all quietly stated out loud.

Toadette looked at Toad smugly as she placed her empty hand on the grass. "Nope. Go fish." Toad grabbed a card from the pile and that's when Toadette slammed her cards down with a very smug smile on her face. "The royal flush. Looks like I win again."

Toad threw his cards down and raised his hands in the air. "MOTHERF-"

"Oh, hey guys!" Toadette beamed, interrupting Toad's rage, though everyone had gotten used to it by now. She shot the Yoshis a sly smile. "What took you dirty dinos so long, huh?" She then proceeded to wink, much to Red's chagrin.

He began fuming as his cheeks almost turned as red as the color of his main body. "Dirty?! Oh, I'll show you!" Before he could attempt to attack, Purple and Yoshi locked arms with him as a way to keep him down.

Toadette's smiled turned into an unimpressed frown. "Jeez, I wasn't expecting you to take that so seriously. Excuse me." Red just shot her a somewhat crazed glare. Toadette couldn't help but giggle. "You're funny, you know that? I bet you'd get along great with Toad if you got to know him. You two are always ready to murder anyone in your path!"

"Ex-CUSE me?" Toad boomed, getting to his feet.

Toadette gave Toad a cocky grin. "What? I'm just stating the obvious. You're always so angry all the time. Perhaps I could help you relax, if you want…" She shot Toad a wink and flicked his chin, only fueling his anger.

Toad began to snarl. "Why, you…" The two then proceeded to briefly get into a fight, big, dusty smoke ball and everything. Yoshi wanted to step in and help them, but Purple put a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head.

Almost as soon as it started, the fight had seemingly ended, Toadette holding Toad up by the chest. She looked at the Yoshis innocently, letting Toad fall to the ground. "So, do you guys want to help me renovate the kingdom, or what?" The Yoshis were left speechless as a sweatdrop fell down their heads.

The group soon enough found themselves doing various things to spruce up the kingdom, from planting pretty flowers to setting up statues, one of which being an abnormally large Princess Peach statue. I mean, I'm not really sure if that's actually a thing in the game, but I'm writing this paragraph at school and, in terms of what can be booted up, they treat us like dogs. Get of my case.

Everyone couldn't help but dreamily sigh at the statue's presence. Something about the princess, even in statue form, was just so regal, one couldn't help but to have their spirits boosted, even just by a little bit. Of course, they couldn't just stand there all day. Breaking out of their stupor, they promptly got back to work.

As they continued to work, they told fun and silly tales in order to pass the time. One such tale told by Toadette told of Mario helping her set up some Warp Pipes, only for a Piranha Plant to pop out of one, biting his big ol' honker not soon after. Everyone couldn't help but nervously laugh at Toadette's tale. It was the kind of laughter when you wince and cringe and suck air in through your teeth because of something but all you can do is let out nervous laughter because it's so painful. But still… Assholes…

Also, "honker" is just a really fun word. I love it.

Eventually, the sun had begun to set, and they had finished… the area outside of Peach's castle. Toadette wiped some sweat from her forehead with a towel. "Well, that's the last of it!" she exclaimed. She inexplicably got out bottles of water for everyone, all of them pretty much chugging it down.

Toad sat down on the grass and let out a long overdue sigh as he stared out into the far beyond. He looked to see if he could spot any nearby islands, but he had no such luck. He didn't mind, though. He was just content with watching the sun get seemingly sucked up by the water. He let his mind wander for a bit, a voice being the only thing to draw him out of his moment to himself.

"Hey, what are we going to do with this?"

Toad turned around to see Purple wheeling a small Mario statue on one of those wheel trolleys. "I found this out back, but we couldn't find any good place to put it. It's kind of small, anyway.

Toad got up to take a look at it, and Purple was right. It was small. So small, in fact that it was only slightly bigger than Toad, so it was pretty damn small. The fact that it didn't have a pedestal to stand on didn't really help. Toad began to closely inspect it. "Hmm… Short, fat, a little chubby…"

"That's literally the same thing."

Toad began to pout. "I know that! Just let me finish my analysis!"

Purple rolled his eyes, reluctantly complying to the mushroom retainer's wishes. Toad continued to observe the statue before clapping his hands together and taking a deep breath. "Well, it checks out. This is a genuine, bonafide Mario statue."

Purple's eyes narrowed slightly. "Really?"

Toad nodded. "Yep!" Then, Toad averted his gaze as he dug the tip of his shoe into the ground. "Hey, um, you don't mind if I take this home, do you?"

Purple shrugged. "I don't see why not."

Toad immediately lit up. "Really? That's great! Thank you!" For a split second, Toad could've sworn he saw a smile try to form on Purple's face, though if that was true, it he was clear he was trying to hide it.

Purple gave a slow nod and pushed the trolley towards the mushroom retainer. "Here. It's yours now. Just bring back the trolley whenever you can. Or don't. Whatever. No, seriously. Bring it back."

Toad nodded as well. "Okay, okay. I'll do that." With a smile on his face, he held tightly onto the handles of the trolleys and walked off, though a comment of Purple made him stop in his tracks.

"Hey. I don't know what you're doing at home, but don't get too freaky with it, alright?

Toad began to flush a bright red and turned towards Purple with an angry look. "W...wha…? W-what the hell did you think I was gonna do with it, you weirdo?! I...I don't know what you were thinking, but whatever it is, I don't like it, so stop!"

Purple's eyes narrowed again. "...Just try and bring the trolley back tomorrow, okay?

Toad, still slightly red in the face, puffed out his cheeks and turned away from the purple-colored Yoshi and dashed off, much faster than usual.

By the time Toad got to his house, night had begun to fall. He opened the door, still wheeling the statue. Despite its size, it was still kind of heavy. Definitely lighter than one would expect, but still heavy. Toad stopped in his tracks and hunched over, breathing heavily. At the very least, the statue was in his house, now. The only real room for worry was having to relocate, but Toad didn't see that being an issue anytime soon.

He stopped to think of a place to set the statue, settling on putting near near the door. He made sure to put it in a place where the door wouldn't hit it. Feeling a sense of accomplishment, he puffed out his chest in pride.

After all that, he hopped onto his bed and let out a heavy sigh, finally able to put all the hard work he did that day behind him. Suddenly, he felt a sneeze coming on, but he was quick to catch it and grabbed a tissue to make sure the residue didn't get anywhere, or at the very least, minimize it.

He groggily looked at his used tissue, and then to the statue of Mario. He slowly turned his attention to the tissue again before shaking his head and tossing it. He lay down on his bed, turning to face the statue again.

Then, he got an idea.

He got up and walked over to the statue, picking it up afterwards. After a bit of struggling, he hoisted up on his bed. Toad put his hands on his hips in satisfaction. The statue was pretty small, so he was pretty certain the statue wasn't heavy enough to break his sturdy bed, so he didn't have anything to worry about. Probably.

Yawning, he got into bed and pulled up the covers, proceeding to turn off the lamp to his left. He snuggled close to the statue and fell asleep, smiling peacefully all the way.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: I Heard Somewhere That Nintendo Deemed** _ **Super Mario Run**_ **a Failure. The Same Could be Said For Me and This Fanfiction.**

The sun shone brightly, giving off a warm and pleasant glow. There was a gentle breeze in the air, complementing the sun perfectly. It was the kind of day where you would want to take a nap, and that was exactly what Mario was doing.

Mario slept peacefully on a bench, a snot bubble inflating and deflating in sync with his breathing. Now, isn't that sugoi kawaii desu wholesome bullshit? Unfortunately, this isn't a cute, fluffy fanfic and instead a terrible, trashy one, so this isn't going to end well. Like, at all.

As Toadette was on a stroll, she turned her head to see the titular plumber. She ran up to the bench and put her arms on the vertical plank. Toadette couldn't help but giggle to herself. "D'awww… How cute. He's asleep."

She turned on her megaphone and inhaled deeply. "HEEEEEEEY, PLUMMMMMBER!"

Startled, Mario jumped up in the air before landing face-first in the mud. He pulled himself out of the muck, his nose jiggling a bit when doing so. He shook the dirt off his face and shot Toadette an angry look. "Toadette! What was that for?!"

Toadette tried to avert her gaze as eyes darted from left to right several times. "Uh, nowhere, I mean, no reason?"

Mario continued to give her a cross look began to tap his foot. "And what's with the megaphone?"

Toadette averted her glance again and kicked the megaphone out of the way. "...What megaphone?"

Mario let out a groan and hunched over a bit. "What do you want?"

Toadette jumped slightly and spread her feet apart. "Wanna come to Remix 10 with me?"

The plumber tilted his head to the side. "I mean, I guess. But, why?"

"There's an event going on, duh! And I need your help!"

Mario tilted his head again and put a finger near his chin. "I mean, sure, but why do you need my help specifically?"

Toadette shrugged. "I dunno."

Then, there was a moment of awkward silence between the two. It felt as if it went on for minutes. Eventually, Toadette finally spoke up. "Look. Do you want to come with me, or not?"

Mario put his hands out in front of him. "Fine, fine. I'll help you. Just don't yell in my ear like that again, alright?"

Toadette put a fist to her chin and nodded. "Alright, fine. Fair enough. It's a deal. Now let's go!"

After a bit of preparation, the two set off to Remix 10, Daisy tagging with along the way. Yeah, just bring a girl to the place where she got lost and presumably kidnapped. Daisy can take it though. She's a strong girl. That's not to say Peach isn't strong either. I just mean that Daisy tends to put up more of a fight. Of course, Peach has been shown to be pretty feisty, too, but what I'm trying to say is… I'm not making a good name for myself, am I?

If I must be honest, I just want to write more of Daisy's character because I just think she's really neat.

"Thanks for inviting me, you guys!" Daisy beamed.

"Heh, no problem!" Mario happily replied back. "So, you ready to go?"

Daisy fist pumped enthusiastically."You bet! Let's go!"

Mario gave her a grin before he turned to face the direction of the courses, his smile becoming more determined.

And thus, the three set off on their journey of self-discovery and misadventure. Mostly just the second one, though. After a small handful of bite-size courses, Mario found himself in a Toad House, a lone Question Box in the middle of the room, four Toads staring at it intently. "Guess they're waiting for me to hit it," Mario thought. He went over to it and gave it a good fisting, but to his surprise, the lights dimmed and the block grew in size. Confused, he hit it again, and the same thing happened. Now he was getting a little spooked. Such a thing never really happened before to his knowledge.

He stopped to glance at the Toads, all of them giving him an expectant look. Sighing, the plumber turned his attention towards the block again and gave it another pounding. Once again, it grew in size.

Mario paused for a moment, seemingly hesitant. He rubbed his chin and turned his gaze towards the Toads again. "Umm, so how big does this block get?"

One of the Toads shrugged. "I dunno. You just have to keep hitting it until your prize pops out."

Mario nodded before looking at the block once more. He had a feeling the Toad wasn't lying, so he hit it again. And again. And again. The sixth and final time he hit it, his gift finally came out, being that of a Gold Toad Statue. The Toads oohed and aahed at this spectacle.

"Whoa! That was amazing, Mario!" a Toad cried out in joy, their eyes lit up like the stars in the night sky. "You got such a rare item on your first try! It's no wonder why you're the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom!" The other three Toads began to cheer for the red-clad man as well, leaving him kind of confused and sheepish.

He left the bonus game feeling at least a small sense of satisfaction. When he finally left, he found Daisy and Toadette had been waiting for him.

"What took you so long?" Toadette asked, tilting her head and putting her hands to her hips.

"I was literally only gone for about two minutes." Mario soon realized though that Toadette wasn't paying attention to him but rather flipping through some kind of book, muttering incoherent thoughts.

"Wait… This wasn't here before…" A sudden sparkle gleamed in Toadette's eyes. "Ooooh! You were at one of the Bonus Games!"

Mario drew back for a moment at Toadette's sudden enthusiasm, but he was soon able to put on a smile, albeit a somewhat hesitant one. "Oh? So that's what that was?"

Toadette put her hands behind her back and puffed her chest out. "You see Mario, after every few courses or so, you get to play a little game where you can get cool prizes to help make our kingdom beautiful, and everytime we get something new, it updates in this little book!"

Mario tilted his head to the side softly as a small smile grew on his face. "Oh, really? That's nice."

. "That reminds me. We have some spare Bonus Medals lying around. How's about you win us some more items?"

Mario put his hands in front of him again. "That's a nice thought, but I really-"

Without having any time to fully let out his response, Toadette kicked him into a Mystery Box that would send him to what was known as the Super Bonus Game.

Daisy was shocked at this course of action, to say the least. "That was kind of unnecessary, you know that?"

"Says the princess who's described as a tomboy," Toadette immediately countered.

Daisy gave a slight pout as she crossed her arms. "Touché…" Daisy paused for a moment and began to gently sway back and forth. "So, uh, why did you want us to come here? I mean, I get that there's an event going on, but what for?"

Toadette lit up again. "Ooh! That's right! I totally forgot to tell you guys! There's more Bonus Medals littered around the place than usual! I would just come here myself, but I thought that bringing some friends along could help speed up the process. ...Also, it'd just be kinda lonely without you guys, I guess."

Daisy was silent for a moment before she smiled and gave Toadette a gentle slap on the back. "Aww, come on. You know you don't need to be embarrassed about it. We're more than glad to come along!"

Toadette seemed surprised at Daisy's response, but she smiled too, regardless. Then, there was silence. The two of them knew Mario was going to take a while, so they took the time to sit down and have a chat.

"So, uh," Toadette started, "I heard you recently got into a tussle with Bowser. What happened.

"I killed him."

Toadette's eyes widened. "YOU WHAT!?"

Daisy laughed. "Oh my god. You actually believed that? Listen, Bowser is a jerk, but I wouldn't go as far to do that. I'll admit, 'killed' was really pushing it. But I did put him in his place.

Toadette remained silent before heaving a heavy sigh of relief. "Heh, I see. Don't know why I was so worried, honestly."

Daisy gave Toadette a cheeky grin as she booped her nose. "Why is that? Don't tell me you have a soft spot for that old Koopa.

Toadette pushed Daisy away and stuck out her tongue. "As if!" she scoffed. "Next thing you'll tell is that you like Waluigi!"

Daisy snorted. "You must be out of your mind to think that's gonna happen! Dream on!"

The two continued to jab and poke fun at each other, laughing all the while. They talked for so long that they didn't even know what time it was anymore. The tow were so caught up in their own world that they didn't hear the footsteps behind them.

"Hey, I'm back."

The two ladies turned to face Mario with huge grins on their faces. "Oh, Mario! Welcome back!" Toadette chimed before giving him a smug look. "What took you so long, ah?"

Mario couldn't help but laugh to himself at Toadette's remark. "Well, I guess we had more Bonus Medals than I thought!"

Toadette laughed as well. "Yeah, that makes sense. Well, if you ever wanna do that again, we're gonna need more Bonus Medals, and now's the perfect time!"

Mario rested a fist into his open hand. "That's right! We still need to go through the courses! Are you two ready?"

The two raised their fist in the air. "Yeah!"

Toadette jumped slightly. "Oh, hey, that reminds me. Do the two of you want to listen to some music while we're out here?" Toadette pulled out a set of headphones and a music player. Curiously, Mario took up on her offer and placed the headphones over his cap. He played a random song and closed his eyes, but they soon darted open upon the sound of screamo death metal playing.

He quickly turned it off, his eyes unblinking. He got his bearings and turned his attention towards Toadette. "...I, uh, never expected you to be a fan of this kind of music."

Toadette took the music player from him to see what song was playing. "Oh, you mean this? I'm not a huge fan, but I like to listen to this kind of stuff from time to time."

Mario tilted his head and smiled. " Ah, I see. Anyway, I think I'm good. Thanks for the offer, though."

Toadette gave a nonchalant shrug. "Well, If anything, I think someone like that Red Yoshi might like it more. Maybe even the blue or purple one." She turned to face Daisy and presented her with a lighthearted sneer. "Who knows? You might like it, too. More than Waluigi, at least."

Daisy leaned down and gave Toadette a cocky look. "Oh, really? Try me."

"Fine, then! First to Area number whatever wins! Ready? Go!"

With that, the two ran off with incredible speed, their momentum causing Mario to spin out a little. He soon regained his sense of balance and focused on the direction the two ladies headed off to.

He smiled to himself. "Those two are so alike…" Mario thought to himself, shaking his head. Sighing, he composed himself being heading off to catch up to the other two, all three of them ready for adventure.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: If You Think About it, Wanting to be Super Mario is a Quite Literal Pipe Dream.**

Mario stared curiously at the pink Warp Pipe in front of him. It certainly wasn't there the last time, so for it to suddenly appear was a mystery to him. There had always been Warp Pipes than extended to let the person traveling in it to get out, only for it to go back into the ground, but this one was just… there.

That's when Toadette jumped up behind him joyfully. "Hi, Mario!" she loudly beamed, causing him to get startled, the upper portion of his body falling into the pipe, his nose crashing onto the interior walls.

Toadette joking huffed. "Jeez. Getting that startled over a simple hello. That certainly isn't like you."

Mario lifted himself up and let out a nervous laugh. "Hey, Toadette. Sorry about that. I guess I kinda just spaced out there."

Toadette couldn't help but chuckle before hoisting herself on the rim of the Warp Pipe and stared down it. "So whatcha looking at?"

Mario turned towards her and shrugged. "I don't know. It's certainly a Warp Pipe, but I've never seen it here before."

Toadette hopped down and took a good look at it, taking notice of a star-shaped indentation. "Oh, I know what this is! You know all those weirdly colored coins we found that one time? You know, a few chapters back? Well, apparently, collecting all those coins caused these Warp Pipes to sprout out from the ground! ...Don't ask me how that works."

Mario shrugged. "I've heard weirder tales."

The female Toad glanced around a few times before facing Mario. "So, uh, you want to go in?"

Mario nodded and gave a thumbs-up. "You got it! Let's-a go!" He went to hop in the pipe, only to be blocked by the dreaded text box, causing him to bump his nose yet again.

Toadette pouted and bent downward a bit, placing her hands on her hips. "Who's this clown?"

"Do you want to play in the Special Course? Note that color coins you collect won't be included in the records."

Toadette tilted her head to the side. "Special Course? Records? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Toadette. I've got this." Mario sighed before facing the text box. "We're sure we want to go in, and we understand the terms and conditions."

And just as quickly as it had appeared, the text box closed itself.

Mario seemingly stared off in space for a moment before turning to face Toadette. "Well, I guess we can go in." He got up and prepared to climb into the pipe, Toadette following close behind.

Toadette began to climb onto the Warp Pipe. "No, seriously. Who was that?"

Mario briefly sighed. "It's kind of a long story. How's 'bout we just finish up this level, okay?"

Toadette said nothing and just nodded in understanding, Mario doing the same not long after. Toadette hopped off, letting Mario go in first. Mario ended up slipping, however, and went face-first into the pipe, eventually getting stuck due to his plump shape. He struggled for a few moments, but couldn't pull himself out.

Toadette let out a brief gasp. "Don't worry, Mario! I'll help you!" She walked a small distance away and got into a pose that would help her get a running start. She then began to run at a breakneck pace, ending with her jumping high into the air and spiking the poor plumber down with both of her feet-kind of like how Dr. Mario does it in those Smash games.

She looked down the pipe for a moment before hopping in it herself, the female Toad shortly landing in some sort of cave. Well, literally speaking, she landed on Mario's back.

Toadette was quick to realize this and hopped off. She looked at Mario with a curious and worried expression. The familiar hero shakily pushed himself up and faced Toadette. "The least you could've done was try to pull me out, or at the very least, ask for help."

Toadette put a fist to her mouth. "Yeah, that sounds like a better idea, honestly. Don't know why I never thought of that."

Mario sighed before getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "Well, no matter. We're still in it for the course, right?"

There was a small glimmer in Toadette's eyes before she gained a determined expression and shook Mario's hand. "Right! Let's do this!" The two gave each other a nod and proceeded to wander forward.

The first section was nothing too special. A few tight jumps here and there, but nothing too out of the ordinary. If anything, it probably looked like something you would see in Toad Rally. I think it is, but I don't know. I can't be bothered to check.

The second section wasn't all that much different. Of course, it wasn't a carbon copy (that would just be stupid and it's not like Nintendo has done that before with a _certain_ series of Mario games), but it was still pretty similar. You had that weird coin snake thing (they're called snaking coins, I think?) and Piranha Plants coming out of pipes, but it was still a relatively simple course.

Then there was the third section. Third time's the charm, right? **Wrong.** It was just typical affair, or whatever. Jump springs, parkour, coins and enemies, you aren't really missing much. I guess I'll write in something funny here. Um… Toadette got so enticed on jumping on the shell of a Buzzy Beetle that she lost her focus and crashed into a wall. ...That's funny, right? Well, either that, or she fell into a bottomless pit along with the Buzzy Beetle. Take your pick.

Now that I think about it, are those bottomless pits really bottomless? There's got to be an end to it, right? Now, that probably seems like a stupid thing to say. Why else would they be called bottomless pits, right? I mean, I guess the closest thing to it is a black hole. It's just nice to think about. Well, nice isn't the best word. Interesting is more like it.

Nevertheless, the two made it to the fourth section and were greeted by Munchers just waiting to nip at them. Somehow, the Goombas were walking on them just fine. Just up ahead, there was a Red Coin Ring, which Mario swiftly jumped through. That familiar ticking began to play as the Red Coins appeared, Mario grabbing all of them. A Super Star appeared above him and he proceeded to grab it, causing him to become filled with power, a prismatic aura surrounding his whole body. He slowed down ever so slightly and grabbed hold of Toadette's hand, causing her to become invincible as well. And so, with the powers of god, anime, and whatever else at their side, they made it to the final Warp Pipe with no trouble at all.

Finally, the light of day hit their faces once more as they made their way to the flagpole. Toadette helped give Mario a boost to the top, the plumber hitting the very top of it, Toadette jumping on as well soon after. The two slid down as a flag that bore Mario's emblem slid up. The two heroes jumped off the flagpole and gave each other a high five, having the satisfaction of having another course cleared. Before the two knew it, they were back at the Warp Pipe.

"Well, that was kind of fun." Mario stated with a small chuckle.

Toadette nodded. "Yeah." She paused for a moment before speaking again. "Hey, uh, I saw some other Warp Pipes with stars on them. Wanna check them out?"

Mario went quiet for a second before nodding and giving a small shrug. "Sure. I don't see why no-"

All of a sudden, the ground began to rumble and out of the ground popped three Toad Houses with stars on the roofs.

Toadette clapped her hands together."Oooh! Bonus Houses!"

"Bonus what?"

Toadette quickly looked at Mario. "You know, Bonus Houses! Well, I guess the correct term is Bonus _Game_ Houses, if you want to get really technical. Apparently, they sprout up from time to time to allow certain individuals to get free Coins and Rally Tickets! And you know how much I love Rally Tickets!"

Mario stayed silent for a short while before speaking. "I'm guessing this is a case of me knowing if I want to do something, but am going to have to do it anyway, ah?

Toadette gave Mario a playful punch to the gut. "You know me so well, Mario. Okay, so, how 'bout this? You check out the Bonus Houses and I finish up the rest of the courses. Does that sound good?"

Mario nodded. "Yeah, that's fair enough. Besides, I can also check out the courses for myself, right?"

Toadette gave an enthusiastic nod of her own. "Yep! I'm pretty sure! Well, anyway, I'm gonna go now. Bye, Mario!" Toadette ran off to find the next Warp Pipe as she cheerfully waved to the plumber, the man in red waving goodbye as well. When she was gone, Mario let out an exhale as he turned to face the Bonus Houses. He pondered on which one to go in first before deciding on the one with red stars on it.

Mario opened the door and found himself in a what seemed to be a ghost house. No, really. Like, the houses with Boos, except there weren't anyway. He hesitantly looked around for a moment before walking forward, coming to a halt when he stepped on a Pause Block. There were two doors in front of him, one being high up and the other being low on the ground. Mario thought long and hard on which one to choose. Well, he didn't have all day, so he couldn't think that deeply on it. Not helped by the fact the Bonus Game had a time limit to it.

Regardless, Mario shook his head and clenched his fists, for he had chosen which one to go in. He went forward and… Well, you can choose for yourself. It won't really affect the story in a negative way.

Regardless of what door you chose, he chose the wrong path, for if he chose the other door, he would've been able to grab tons of shiny coins. It's not your fault. But, guess what? That was only door number one! Out of, like, four more options.

 **No.**

Of course, if you chose the top door, Mario only had two options, because that's fair. So perhaps for this, chose one of the top two doors. Or don't. Whatever. I'd go for the second door, but that's just me. You don't have to do that.

He considered going through on door, but decided on another. Mario opened the door, hoping to find at least something. This was supposed to be a Bonus Game, after all. He doubted the gift of disappointment was a bonus of some sort, or any, really. To his surprise, though. He did find a coin suspended in the air, but that's the coin. A coin, as in one.

Finally, he reached a treasure chest. He opened it to reveal...nothing. Absolutely nothing. A feeling of annoyance and betrayal ran through Mario's body. This was supposed to be a chance at grabbing bonuses, right? Maybe he was right about what he thought earlier. Maybe the gift of disappointment really was a thing. What he didn't know is that the door he was considering on going in earlier had a bunch of cool things in the room beyond.

The only reason Mario had so much bad luck here is because I hate this Bonus Game. A lot, actually. It always seems I think about going in one door, only to not go in it and then it has a lot of goodies. It doesn't help that the other rooms only seem to be there to taunt you. Of course, I don't have all day to rant on stuff like this, just like how Mario doesn't have all day to mosey through the courses, so moving on…

Mario got kicked out of the Bonus House and it shrunk down in size. A sign popped up out of the ground. Mario got up to look at it.

" _Closed. Come back in four hours."_

Mario let out an exasperated sigh and turned towards the other two houses. He decided on going into the blue one, feeling he would have a little more luck, even if it really was just a little. It couldn't be that bad, right? Right?

Actually, no. The second Bonus House had some kind of slot roulette wheel. Okay, slots is kind of a lie. You just hit blocks and try to match certain thingymajigs. Whatever.

Mario inspected the block in the middle, said block being cold in color and having coins plastered on it. No doubt that matching the other blocks with it could really rack in some fat stacks.

Mario focused his attention on the other blocks, intently waiting for the right time to strike. Then, it was showtime. He hit the first block, and it stopped on a picture of a Toad head. Well, that wasn't so bad. He just had to time his hits better. Next time around, he hit another of the passing blocks and it stopped on a picture of a lone coin. Well, this was going better than expected, wasn't it?

To cut a long story short, Mario only got many one or two matches, and even then, they weren't anything all that great.

Third Bonus House time and third time's the charm. ...Right?

Mario entered the third Bonus House, only to find nothing but a Warp Pipe inside. He walked closer to it, only for the walls to close in behind him. Now there was no way out. Unless, of course, the Warp Pipe led somewhere. He peeked down it, only for a flurry of coins and Rally Tickets to fly out of it, catching him off-guard.

He paused for a moment to collect himself and began to jump up and reach for as many goodies as he could, though to his surprise, a fireball popped out of the Warp Pipe and hit him dead on. Where it hit him is up to interpretation. We're getting creative today, y'know?

Mario got kicked out of the final Bonus House. Well, it was more of him getting thrown out, leaving him to skid across the ground. He got up and dusted himself off, a somewhat annoyed look on his face. "Mamma mia. Can't a poor plumber catch a break?" He thought to himself.

What _did_ he do to get such bad luck? Did he eat some cursed pasta? Perhaps he stomped on the wrong Goomba? Or maybe he found some rather unsavory pictures online? Whatever the case, he was just left with himself and the few things he had won.

Just then, Toadette came up to him. "Oh, hey, there you are! Did you just finish, too?" Mario nodded. Toadette let out a small chuckle. "Heh. That's neat." She stopped to exhale as she put her hands behind her head. "I'll be honest with you, Mario. The other courses weren't too exciting. I mean, I had fun doing them, but I guess I just expected more, y'know?"

Mario tilted his head slightly. "I know exactly what you mean." The two shared a laugh at this before sighing and sitting by the river.

"So what do you wanna do now?" Toadette asked, facing the river.

"I dunno." Mario simply replied.

A wave of silence washed upon the two, not leaving for a while. Finally, Toadette spoke up. "Wanna do some Toad Rallies with me?"

Mario simply shrugged his shoulders as a small smile grew on his face. "Sure."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like I'm Running Out of Ideas, but We've Come a Long Way from the Supposed Toad-pocalypse, huh?**

 _Dear Mario,_

 _Why don't you join us at the castle for a Christmas party? They'll be plenty of festivities and cake!_

 _Your's truly, Peach._

The snow had fallen heavy that day, leaving the Mushroom Kingdom covered in a thick blanket of white. On days like this, it wasn't too hard to see… I was ripping off a much better story.

Mario meandered through the snow, a nice, warm scarf around his neck, a sack full of gifts slung over his shoulder. I mean, I'd assume he has a neck. It's probably just hard to see. To be fair, it doesn't look like Toad has one either.

Who am I kidding? My art style is just like that, and it's horrible.

His carefree walk ended when he reached the castle grounds, all his friends calling out to him upon the plumber being in eyeshot, the titular man quickly responding to their calls. He quickly ran over to them in a gleeful sprint, a small scamper to his steps. He stopped to a halt upon reaching them, a small amount of snow being sent flying midair upon him stopping.

"Mario!" Princess Peach chimed. "We're so glad you could come!"

Mario's eyes lit up and he gave an enthusiastic nod. "Of course, princess! Christmas time is probably my favorite time of the year!"

"Aside from any other time?" Luigi jokingly sneered.

"Oh, shut up," Mario responded in a carefree manner, lightly punching his brother's arm.

Everyone had a laugh at this. After a bit more talking, they went to where they would be celebrating, plenty of refreshments laying about in various tables.

"So another year's gone by, huh?" Mario mused as he proceeded to take a sip from his cup of warm cider. "A lot has happened, huh? But at the same time, it doesn't feel like much has changed."

"Yeah. I know exactly what you mean," Luigi sighed. "It's crazy how one year can fly by so fast."

Mario gave a slight chuckle and shot his brother a cheeky wink and grin. "I think you mean cuckoo-crazy, Bro."

Luigi snorted at his brother's response. "Yeah. Exactly."

As the two laughed and chatted, everyone else was doing their own thing too, the Yoshis exchanging gifts they had for each other and eating lots of food and the two princesses catching up on what had been going on within their kingdoms. As for Toad and Toadette… I don't know. They were doing something. They were probably having a good time, I assume.

And as for the text box… Umm…

Finally, the time came for exchanging gifts. Of course, the Yoshis had already done so among themselves, but that was easily forgiven. Everyone had a gift for everyone, and I mean everyone. Peach had a gift for the Yoshis, the Mario Bros. had gifts for each other (not very surprising, though), Toad had a gift for Daisy, the list goes on. Hell, Mario even had a gift for the text box, though whether or not he'd be able to give it to them was ambiguous.

Overall, it was a nice time for everyone. The Mario Bros. even got to spend some quality time with the princesses, and in case you're wondering, yes; that does mean Luigi got to spend time with Daisy. Got to give those crazy shippers something good once in a while.

Some time passed, and everyone had settled down. Everyone was relaxing and doing their own thing, and all the gifts had been given out. Well, expect for one.

As Mario was chatting with the Yoshis, he felt something tug at his overalls. He looked down to see Toad, a tense look on the mushroom retainer's face, his cheeks being a similar color to that of the spots on his cap.

Mario gave him a smile. "Oh, hey, Toad! How've you been? I feel like I haven't seen you during this whole party, y'kn-"

Toad proceeded to grab him by the arm and walked away. Mario was confused by this, to say

the least. 'Wha…? Toad, what a-"

"Please continue the conversation without us," Toad simply stated as he guided Mario away, the plumber giving an unsure look the the Yoshis. Toad led him behind the tree and went over to stand on a small soapbox.

"Toad, I was having a conversation," Mario bluntly stated. "You didn't have to pull me away like that."

Toad gave a slight pout. "I know that… It's just… W-well… L-listen! I have a gift for you!" Hastily, Toad pulled out an orange box adorned with red ribbon and shoved it into Mario's hands. Mario inspected it for a moment before untying the ribbon and opening the box, revealing what seemed to be a crochet doll in his likeness.

He held up the craft and took a good look at it. Then, he looked at Toad. "Toad… Did you make this?"

Toad stammered a little as he put a hand behind his head before tapping his fingers together. "I-t's kind of embarrassing to admit, but Toadette kind of helped me with it. See taught me how to make these so I kind of decided to make one for all of us and-"

Toad immediately paused when he felt Mario grab hold of his hands and saw him give him a smile. "I love it. Thank you, Toad."

Toad's lips quivered slightly as they slowly formed a smile, his cheeks becoming flushed. He quickly turned his head away. "Well, all that matters is that you like it."

Mario continued to give him a smile, but then he remember something. "Oh! Toad, I almost forgot! I haven't given you my gift yet, have I? I couldn't find you during the gift exchange, so-"

Mario stopped his train of thought when he heard Toad mumble something under his breath. Having a slight idea where this was going, he asked Toad to speak up, which he did, but it was still hard to understand. The third time, however, was loud and clear.

"MARIO, I STILL HAVE ANOTHER GIFT FOR YOU!"

Mario drew back at the sound of Toad's shouting at put his hands over his ears. When the coast was clear, he put his hands down. He would scold Toad for suddenly shouting like that, but he couldn't find it within himself at the time to do that. All he could do was question. He tilted his head to the side and pointed at himself. "Another gift?"

Toad immediately jolted and stood completely still. His head slowly hung down, his expression becoming ever more exasperated as his face becoming more and more red. Mario was beginning to get concerned. He bent down and tried to get a good look at Toad's face, which had now become completely red. "Toad?" Mario asked. "Are… you okay? ...To-"

"MERRYCHRISTMASMARIOHERESYOURGIFT!"

With that, Toad quickly leaned in and gave Mario a kiss on the nose before running away faster than he ever had before, his face still bright red. He tripped once, but after that, he was gone.

Mario was just left there to ponder what had happened. A small patch of blush had formed on his face, no doubt from the sudden surprise at what had happened. He put a hand to his cheek and shook his head. "That Toad…" he thought to himself. "Always full of surprises…"

He continued to stay in the spot he was in for a little while before Peach called him over. Apparently, it was for cake. Of course, Mario being Mario, he couldn't pass this up. He quickly got up, but then remembered Toad. He looked in the direction of where he ran off as a concerned look began to form on his face again.

However, Toad would soon be back by the time it was nighttime at the tree had become lit up. As the star on top shone brightly, they all held hands and sang Christmas carols.

The next morning (or possibly the day after. I don't know), it was back to peaceful, lazy days in the Mushroom Kingdom, albeit with more snow. Mario had planned another meetup with everyone, so we woke up slightly earlier than usual that day. He moseyed over to the meeting spot, that same scarf around his neck. To his surprise, when he arrived, everyone was already there waiting for him.

"Mario! There you are!" Toadette beamed. "Not like you to be late like this! Then again, it always seems to be like this whenever Peach gets-"

Daisy quickly karate chopped Toadette's head, making her shut up. "Either way, we're glad you could come. It's certainly not the same without you, y'know?"

Mario sheepishly grinned. "Aww, hey. Come on…"

Toadette looked at a smart device and suddenly, her eyes lit up as she went over to grab Mario's arm. "Hey, Mario, Mario! Another Warp Pipe popped up and the upper rim is literally shaped like a star! Isn't that cool? Let's go inside and see where it leads us!"

"There's also apparently a Toad Rally event going on, too!" Toad added, grabbing hold of Mario's other arm. "Let's go do that!"

Mario gave a nervous laugh. "Alright, alright. We can't do all those things at once, though."

"Why don't we all just hold a race here?:" Luigi suggested.

"Great idea!" Toadette instantly chimed. "Let's get set up!

(one sec this is gonna be edited)

"RUN!"


End file.
